Comedian Tim Wilson did a song of 39 of the “100 things in life every man needs to know to survive.” I want to see what we can come up with for the other 61.
Here’s the original list:
#40. Man cannot live on bread alone, [ul]he must have peanut butter.[/ul]
#41. If you decide to stop on a yellow light, make sure you’re not being tailgated by an 18 wheeler.
#42 If you can see a dog’s teeth, it ain’t a smile.
#43. Never sleep with a woman who’s problems are greater than your own.
#43 If you wonder when leaning on one cheek, it isn’t a fart.
#44 Save jokes while driving for open mike night. Police aren’t easily amused.
#45 Tricks involving flammables will usually result in lots of flashing lights, and you being certified as an idiot.
#46 Never anger a woman before falling asleep.
#48 1/2 Always read the number of the previous post before posting :dumbshit smiley:
#47. Never piss off the person who brings your food or cuts your hair.
#49. There is never a situation in which it is inappropriate to talk like a pirate.
#50 No matter how old you feel at your current age, in ten years you’ll be wishing you were that young again.
#50 [addendum] These ARE the good ole days!
#51. Never argue with your dentist.
I gotta say it…
#52 Measure twice, cut once!
353 Always keep a $20 bill in a separate pocket in case your wallet is stolen.
#54 Never fart just previous to sitting down.
#55 Life is too short to eat white chocolate, which is in fact not chocolate at all but a cruel hoax.
#56 If you’re thinking “Where’s the catch?”, you’ve already discovered the most important part: No matter what they say, there is a catch.
- Never wipe your bum with a broken bottle
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After great sex, make her breakfast.
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Never make her breakfast while you are still nude.
- Better still, after great sex insist she makes you breakfast
- Try to avoid situations that could result in you being a guest on Jerry Springer.