100 Things Everyone Should Know in Life

  1. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger and you don’t mess around with Slim.

I disagree. After great sex, make breakfast of her. :oral smiley:

  1. Never eat orange snow

64: dont wizz on the electric fence, no matter how tempting it may be.

65: Never do anything to piss off a Puma if there aren’t bars seperating the two of you.

66: If you’re in a puma cage at the zoo and the Puma ISN’T and visitors are staring in, for god sakes wave hello and smile.

67: If someone you know sees you in the Puma cage, deny it was you.

  1. To go along with the breakfast rule… Never fry bacon in the nude. Same goes for chicken and sausage. Sauteeing mushrooms nekkid, is, however safe.
  1. Never pass a semi in the driving rain.

  2. Don’t go to a doctor that seems to be in pain.

  1. Never go to a gynecologist who speaks too softly.

If you wouldn’t tell your wife about it, you probablt shouldn’t do it.

  1. It’s noon somewhere.
  1. If your partner is quiet and looks upset about something, never ask ‘what’s the matter?’

  2. If you do ask ‘what’s the matter?’ and she replies, ‘you don’t know?!!’ --> run!

76 - 80: The rules from this thread.

  1. Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

#76 Know that the toilet paper roll gets hung so the paper is underneath the roll.

For “100 things in life every man needs to know to survive.” this seems like a strange entry.

:smack: What sort of lies do they teach you? Everyone knows the scroll gets hung with the paper over the top.

#77 - If a man has been divorced more than twice… it might not be his wives that are the problem. (Ditto for women.)

#78 - If you marry for money, you’ll earn it at minimum wage.

79: No one’s REALLY going to see a man about a horse. Anywhere.

  1. Shake it more than three times and you’re playing with it.