Basically I tried to make it clear my daughter deserved respect. Treat her like a lady. My wife always said I was a bit stern talking with the boys my daughters dated. I’ve always been very protective of them.
Seriously? Were you *ever *a teenager?
OP, it’s been pretty much covered. Hi, how are you, nice to meet you, how do you know [daughter’s name*], where are you going, when do you expect to be back, here’s my phone number if you’re running late please call. Keep it short and sweet. If things go well, invite him over for dinner soon and get to know him better when he’s not so nervous and focused on going out to a high stress event.
*I would be seriously pissed if my dad had even said, “my daughter” instead of using my name. I’m a person, I’m my own person, and this is not the time I want men even hinting at intimidation or ownership over me. That time would be…never, really.
Sailors as Father Figures? Sailors are Hobo Figures aren’t they?
Other than that, very good point.
You don’t seem to mind de-personalizing/showing ownership of him by calling him ‘my dad’.
Why do you have to say anything?
Let Mom say what needs to he said.
If he comes in alone sit him at the table and say nothing.
Stare at him…tilt your head and smile every now and then.
Furthering from a previous post.
“Whatever happens to her happens to your family and you.”
7
There may be a flaw in this plan.
“I thoroughly enjoyed going down on your daughter, sir. Just let me get my zipper open, and you can get started.”
:o
Fer pete’s sake, you are reading way too much into this first date stuff. what do you say? Say the same thing you say to her friends?..But you want to be the macho dad with the virtual shotgun? You just really let the world know that you think your daughter is a powerless slut in the hands of the first boy that comes along.
Okay that was harsh, but at that age they probably just want to “hang out” with their friends at the dance and aren’t thinking about bumping uglies quite yet
By the time my daughter got to dating she had developed my sense of sarcasm and her mother’s brains. I kind of felt sorry for the boys.
I didn’t need a shotgun or a macho attitude, she was smart (both street and book) and capable of handling herself.
More than once I recall thinking good luck sucker try to keep up.
I wouldn’t even tell him to call if they will be late - that can be my daughter’s responsibility. The lesson on responsibility is hers, which includes “call me if you are late, call me if you need a ride, call me if your date turns into a jerk, call me if you get uncomfortable with a situation.”
For him its “nice to meet you, how is school going for you, have a nice time.”
Although I think it probably depends on the daughter. I’d be more worried about my son making stupid decisions or not walking out on a situation he knows better than to be in than my daughter. My daughter is the type to call home when she has a problem and make better decisions. Sounds like rick’s daughter.
Some of you seem to be way misinterpreting the OP which (and he can correct me if I’m wrong) threw in the “shotgun” bit as a “Haha, yes I know the obvious jokes but that’s not what I want” and some of you are pouncing upon as “See?! He wants to grill/scare the kid”
Relax. He’s just asking for tips on getting to know the kid in a comfortable and non-threatening manner since he assumes the kid is already nervous. There’s no harm in getting to know your child’s friends. There’s no harm in taking a special interest in friends with whom your child may become more attached to than their regular friends. That’s called parenting.
Ridiculous.
If you think that a daughter’s connotation of her father is one of depersonalization and ownership equivalent to a father’s connotation of his daughter in a thread where suggestions of aggression and threats have been put forth as serious suggestions, then I don’t know what to tell you. Particularly as it’s customary in our culture for daughters *not *to address their parents by first names, while parents have a choice of referent for their children.
That’s hilarious. No adult is capable of making conversation with a 14 year old. You may think you are, but you’re just fooling yourself and being laughed at by the 14 year olds.
Presumably he has fourteen years of getting to know his daughter’s friends behind him and has managed sans special instructions. What’s different now is that it’s a Date, and television has taught us that a Good Dad must make it clear to any Dates that Daddy’s Little Girl is not to be trifled with. He can sit the boy down for a good talking to á la Dr. Huxtable, spell out the Eight Simple Rules, or write his own script. Why would he need help figuring out how to have a normal conversation?
Right. Because talking an an 8 year old is just like talking to a 14 year old.
I mean, until people go ape that he spoke to a 14 year old like he was 8 so now the daughter is going to run away and join the merchant marines.
Actually, the secret is to just talk to them as if they were people. Unfortunately, then they often won’t stop and will hang around the kitchen pestering you while you’re trying to cook, so be careful what you wish for.
Walmart has amphibious capability?
What OP are you reading?
which is to say what? well say something about it
You could use Bill Engvall’s great line:
I’m going to pull him in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. And I’m gonna say to him, “Boy, look at me. You see that little girl right there? She’s my only little girl, man. She’s my life. So if you have any . . . thoughts . . . about huggin’, or . . . kissin’, you remember these words: ‘I’ve got no problem going back to prison.’”