fire. just small 1st/2nd degree burns everywhere. won’t kill ya right away, and will hurt real bad for a long time. with a cheapy propane torch, you can cover the whole body in under 15 min., right up to the point where the skin starts to bubble.
then comes the salt (onion or garlic would be nice) to fill the remaining time left.
did i mention i’m one hell of a bbq’er?
Jesus was in a coma.
I’d give Osama a sex change.
I’d want him to sit in a room and listen to this, read by the survivors and family members described therein. While looking at their pictures. And seeing what kind of society the Great Satan is capable of achieving, and which he and his Islamofascist scumbag friends will never be capable of.
I agree with you 100% Matt… well 90% I live in the states see… and well the FBI would be kinda pissed if I drove him to Canada first.
I am not one prone to torture, I could not suffer myself if I were to do such a thing. I am not capable to plot out in cold reason such a thing.
If the threat of violence to me or others was emminant I would not hesitate to act with letal intentions.
But to torture someone who is helpless? that is just to damn Hobnail crazy for me.
They are a threat kill them or damn sure make they do not get up, if they are not a threat. The athorities should be informed and deal with the matter.
Consequencelessness? Don’t believe in it.
No consequences beyond the inner karmic ones? Well then.
I’d kill him, in the fastest, most painless way possible. And then spend the remainder of the allotted minutes sitting and looking at the corpse. I would meditate that once, a long time ago, a baby was held by a mother, a father, some caregiver who smiled with simple love at new life. That one day, that baby showed his first smile back. Then life, suffering, choices–some angry, some sad, some unthinking, each building and twisting on the other as they twisted the chooser–leading to this.
I understand revenge fantasies. I just think they’re best avoided. Life is suffering enough. It’s stunning how much more so people make it.
I think we should leave the honors to a few thousand Masai warriors, as long as there’s plenty of video cameras around to document the action. I mean, they did offer to help, and the cows were such a nice gift.
I’d go with thirst. Put him in a glass room where spectators can come in and watch, free of charge. Don’t give him anything to drink. Should last a good 3 days (four if you’re lucky and OBL aint) and you can’t get much more painful than dying of thirst.
:eek:
Further thought… if there are no consequences, that means that you will derive no pleasure, and he will suffer no punishment, pain, death, remorse, etc.
Hey, hey, how about cutting off their penis and making them eat it before they die of blood loss! Or we could just go traditional and break their limbs from several places and hang them from a wheel until they die! Wow, that would be so cool!
Let’s really spice it up and first have them kiss your hairy ass.
Nah, too cruel. 
Why would I want to spend 15 minutes with a terrorist?
(Flowbark pulls out his six-shooter).
T: “No, Senor Flowbark! No!”
FB: “Tell it to the women and children you maimed, terrorist scum!”
(Cocks gun. Pauses.)
FB: “Death is too good for you. You’re going to jail.”
I see there’s a lot of creative torturers around…
There will be great job opportunities for you in the political police of the next dictatorship…keep on…
Jaakko and matt_mcl sort of remind me of my mom. When we tell her jokes she says “but wait…ducks can’t talk”
Do you actually think that even one of us would ever be in this situation? We like to call this: VENTING.
I will never be face to face with Osama Bin Laden…but I do so like to think of him suffering, get that smug smile off of his face. It’s how I deal with how angry 9/11 made me.
I find it all very worrying.
And ya know, I have to think that if there were more women like this today, the world would be a much happier place.
Personally, I’d like to see Osama stripped naked, tied up, and fist fucked by a biker gang in time to NIN’s Last
I would probably duct tape him to a table, put a cigarette out in each eye, and then smash his head Gallager style with a big-ass mallet.
If I only had fifteen minutes, I would take matt_mcl’s route and turn them over to the FBI. Violent revenge fantasies do nothing for me.
If I had more time, I would make them sit in front of a TV and watch every home videotape ever made of their victims. Bar mitzvahs, birthday parties, weddings, happy babies playing in the park, you name it.
My Uncle Mike says that’s a “typical liberal fantasy to avoid actually having to face punishing criminals” but I think it would be a lot more effective than anything else.
So I’d take ashcroft and. . .
Oh wait, he doesn’t count? I mean he sure as hell SEEMS like he is trying to overthrow the American government and institute his own totalitarian state, if that ain’t a terrorist action . . . .