Interesting list- the most interesting part is not so much the advice, but that it’s written from the “How to” perspective of a woman going to a bar or scene to get a date… and failing, and what she needs to do to tighten up her playa skillz.
These lists are always done for inept or failing men, I have never seen a list done for failing women who are inept at dating or getting a hook up.
Just read it. No less disturbing when targeting women than men. Makes me want to take a shower.
This appears to be a list of suggestions for how women can get laid. Since when do they need any help with that? All they have to do is have a pulse and stand near men.
Speaking from experience, only the pulse is required, standing is not.
Picky, picky.
Regards,
Shodan
Lists are the bread and butter of magazines/webzines. And there are lots of women’s magazines. Apparently you don’t read them. Err… not that I do…
Well, at least it has to be a fresh kill. Some of us do have standards… 
Bleeding out’s ok too.
Yeah, this isn’t a twist. This is 90 percent of their content, along with how to lose weight (so you’ll be more attractive to men), how to dress better (so you’ll be more attractive to men) and how to be good in bed (to please men). Okay, there are some good bits, too, but lining up a Cosmo article on getting some alongside a Maxim article on getting some is kind of funny.
Also, any man can get laid if he’s standing and has a pulse, as long as he sets his standards low enough. What’s that, he doesn’t want to? Neither do women.
Well, OK, maybe pulse optional, too - I was speaking from experience and I haven’t tried picking up guys in a state of zombiehood. I’m trying put off being dead as long as possible, so don’t expect me to get back to you with a report for a bunch of decades, m’kay?
I was once hit on by an EMT after a car accident. I was bleeding, but nowhere near dying. Does that count? (If it’s worth any extra points, I did go out with him.)
So your first date was a total car wreck?
I didn’t know you were in the movies.
Regards,
Shodan
Let me translate for you:
**1. You Can Go To A Crowded Bar And Not Meet Someone **
Guys did drunk chicks.
**2. Funky Chicken **
Try dancing like a coked up stripper.
**3. So Close, Yet So Far Away **
When you are saddled up to the bar next to the RedBull drinking douchebag pretending to be the sort of rich guy you are trying to land, rub up against his crotch.
**4. Don’t Get Jealous, Get Even. **
Bring your slutty friend with you.
**5. Mixin’ Business With Pleasure. **
Guys don’t want your stupid number. Suggest getting out of there and catching a cab back to your place. (They also don’t want you sleeping at their place).
**6. You’re Bad At Breakups. **
It’s ok to cheat if you run into a better looking guy with more money.
**7. Just Teasin’. **
Less talky, more titty.
**8. Dead On Approach. **
Nothing says “I’m a slut” more than flirting with all the people you wouldn’t sleep with to repopulate the species after a meteor strike.
**9. Smooth Sailing On The Friendship. **
Find some nice guy chump at work with a crush on you so you can bitch to him after your girlfriends get sick of hearing about the douchebag you blew in the bathroom of the club who never called you again.
**10. Company Man. **
Guys are not going to approach you if you are already surrounded by a sausagefest. Don’t bring those losers from work. You already know how pathetic their jobs are.
**11. Change Clothes And Go. **
Change into your slut clothes before you go out. No one digs a pants suit.
**12. Calvin Klein Isn’t The Only One Creating Obsession. **
Don’t speak any of the thoughts about marriage, kids and moving to the suburbs that entered your brain 5 seconds after this guy bought you your glass of white zinfandel.
**13. You’re A Bitter Betty. **
Save the psycho talk for date 5. Or never.
**14. Don’t Be Afraid To Make Mistakes. **
There is a reason you are on The Pill. And they can do wonders at free clinics these days.
15. Be A Lady.
Bitches be crazy.
Some magazines also feature recipes (to save money, and the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach).
This is actually a good piece of advice. If someone thinks that all men (or all women) are assholes, then that’s NOT a good mindset to bring to the dating game.
Agreed, but I will go one step further. If you, man or woman, have this attitude, the problem is with your own immaturity. If you have been through a string of relationships that have all ended badly, the common denominator there is you. And the problem isn’t that you’re “a jerk magnet”. It’s that you are a psycho.
One observation I get from reading both Maxim & Cosmo, they are obsessed with the opposite sex but don’t really like them or want to be with them apart from sex.
Funny, I always thought it was through the 3d intercostal space and up a smidge?
Oops… I knew I did something wrong
meanders off to try again
The list is more for getting laid than it is for dating. I suppose it is also for getting laid by hotter guys, since as has been pointed out, it isn’t too hard for most women to get sex.
with the guy that toasts your bagel.