My god, I was reaching each post slowly in hopes that someone didn’t post this.
Make no mistake, I have no desire to make this thread about him whatsoever, but this news story might as well be tailor-made.
IIRC he did do what he could within the law, even up to getting her put in for evaluation at the hospital for 72 hours (the max anyone can be held) she got out and went right back to this guy’s place and her father followed.
When the child is 16 you can do only so much and then your hands are tied, as people have said she was of the age of consent, it’s not that easy to tie up a 16 y/o and keep themselves safe from themselves… And I’m speaking as a former 16 year old who had my own brushes with authority though nothing like this situation.
The interesting part is she’s been clean since and she supports her father.
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Make no mistake, I have no desire to make this thread about him whatsoever, but this news story might as well be tailor-made.
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[QUOTE=Zing]
Now, everyone, enjoy this thread in sweet peace. Relish it and cherish it. It should chug along nicely
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God help us, we can’t help it. We miss you Dio! Come home soon.
Of course, it shields her from responsibility if she can blame the evil older boyfriend rather than her own bad decisions.
One might argue that he was defending his daughters life. Perhaps he knew she would stay with the guy no matter what if he remained alive.
I’m not saying one would necessarily win that argument, but one could make it.
Not being a parent, it’s difficult for me to weigh in any further.
A tragic accident involving a chain hoist and a wood chipper perhaps? A little self-bondage session gone terribly awry?
Are you me?
This dad pretty much F’d up in raising his daughter in How to make Important Decisions 101; How to Say No:101; How to tell if your Boyfriend is a Dickweed 101; and other basic Lifeskills. She might have been going through a “Rebellious Phase” and did shit to piss off Daddy, but when they do that, what they really want is Daddy’s attention.
So, Daddy John Wayne & John McClain’s into saving her from the cock up that she made for herself and Dad’s life is all f’d up here on. She’s f’d up for life too. No man will ever measure up to what her Daddy did and shoulda done. She supports him now.
The circle of codependcy…
The legal age of consent in Canada is 16 and in 2003, it was 14. There’s no evidence of statutory rape here.
The OP asks what posters would do in a similar situation. It does not specify that I am somehow transported to another country, and bound by their law. In my jurisdiction, the guy is guilty of statutory rape, and I’d respond accordingly.
I am also you, I think. Maybe not.
I continue to be somewhat horrified by the degree to which young people are infantalized.
Hell, I was fifteen when I moved in with a twenty-year-old girlfriend, and have a hard time comprehending how it is that people manage to believe that it’s natural that a sixteen-year-old would have no responsibility, self-determination or ability to reason out their own self-interests. It seems to be that if this is the case, something has gone terribly wrong somewhere along the line.
Why is it so common to fill up those first nineteen years by deferring important information “until you’re old enough” and then express dismay when things don’t work out well when you push an overgrown juvenile out into the real world?
And they have been doing it for a long time. While researching a branch of my family, I found this:
“In 1705 “The Grand Jury of Monmouth Co., N.J. present Elizabeth, daughter of James Stout of Middletown, for a bastard child by James Hid, late of Middletown. She was fined 5 pounds and costs, or to be whipped 10 lashes on her bare back.” The fine was paid by her father.”
She was 14 at the time
It is a known fact that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain employed for making decisions is not fully developed until the early twenties. Check it out
Our legal system has not kept up with the science, and a 16 year old is simply not qualified to make decisions like shacking up or having a baby.
Its easy to blame the parents, but its been a long time since parents had the only influence on a childs behavior. And even a good parent can be thwarted by the other “bad” parent. And we all make mistakes, recover, and try again. A parent should never give up on their adolescent child.
As far as that 24 year old man is concerned, he knows what he’s doing. In my book he’s a pedophile. I’m not going to get hung up on definitions based on the legal age of the victim. I’m sure some of you who feel this guy deserves to live would feel differently if the daughter was 11 and the legal system wasn’t any help.
It would be entirely legal where I am for a 16 year old to move wherever she chose. It’s no-one’s business to stop them. If your law says otherwise, your law is wrong.
Not even their parents? And she was also doing drugs and generally driving her life to the wrecks.
The drugs are an issue, but it would depend what they are. Pot is fine, heroin is not, and the police should obviously be called in that case.
To clarify my point, the parents have an interest, but they don’t have the right to stop her moving out. In most cases, if a child wants to move out at 16, there’s something wrong with the parents, although I personally know at least one exception, but in this case the fact that the father shot an innocent man strongly suggest he’s not a great parent and role model.
I remember I had just turned 18 and graduated high school and moved to Greenwich Village in New York City. Of course this was the mid 60s and I saw lots of girls younger than myself living with, or should I say, off of older guys. Most of whom were gay guys trying to avoid the discriminatory notions of the day.
It really was a different world back then, sure we had lots of crime, but it didn’t seem so extreme as it does now.
What if he kicked your ass? Does he win the right to do as he pleases with your daughter?
It is tricky to get the right ages for individual responsibility. Here (in Scotland), for consensual sex it is 16 regardless of sexuality (used to be 14 for boys) but there are caveats about being in a position of responsibility over the younger person. The legal drinking ages are 5 at home, 16 with a meal in a licensed premises, and 18 as a full adult. Cigarettes at 18 and cars at 17. You can get married at 16 without parental consent. Voting is 18, and you can’t be deployed in a fighting role in the military till then either, although you can enlist before that. Which ones would you change and why?
The man killed some one to get what he wanted. I’d play by his rules, too.
In defense of the dead dirtbag junkie, I’d like to point out that 24 is (or, in this case, was) pretty young, too. He had plenty of time to straighten up, if it hadn’t been stolen from him.
And sex with a 16 year old is NOT pedophilia. It way not be a socially acceptable age difference, but it is not pathological or inherently abusive.
What would I have done? Gotten the guy busted for on a drugs charge.
That’s debatable. I think he did it in defense of his daughter’s life. I also think he should get an ecology award for cleaning garbage out of the environment.