I see the OP hasn’t responded in a while; I hope she’s at least reading and thinking about what’s been written on here. I don’t think it’s what she wanted to hear.
Apart from me being cynical, you mean? Actually now I see that jayjay and pulykamell have similar misgivings.
So taking the sincerity of the OP as read, I will give her this amazing piece of wisdom from Khalil Gibran*. I suggest she reads it all but here’s an excerpt:
It was your job to do the aiming. But you can’t control the arrow once it’s in flight.
*Yeah I know it’s hackneyed - that’s because it’s so good. Bite me.
I didn’t have to do that when I was 7.
Just because it’s common doesn’t make it not bad parenting, just because she has good intentions doesn’t make it not bad parenting, just because the poor girl hasn’t actually been abused doesn’t make it not bad parenting. You can’t read this thread and call the OP a good parent, they are probably a good person who didn’t know any better because they were raised the same way but that doesn’t mean she’s doing a good job.
I also think the daughter is just growing up. I know that if my parents tried controlling me as much as the OP tries to control her daughter I’d be heading for the hills… whether I was ready for the move or not.