I’d like to say thank you very much to those of you who contributed to this thread. I’d like to give a follow up on how things ended, and where things are headed.
Almost a month to the day after she moved in I was happy as a pig in shit, and watching Spiderman 3 with an old roommate of mine. Little did I know she was at a concert with some friends that brought along said ex-boyfriend. The next morning I woke up alone, trotted around the house, then proceeded to read an MSN conversation she’d had with the ex several hours earlier.
It appears she had been pining after him, and vice versa. He decided to whisk her away in the night, whilst I sawing a log in bed, to facilitate some horndoggery. All sense of down and rationality was drained from me and replaced with lead guts. I went to work that day regardless in a complete fucking fog, which resulted in a pair of accidents that I was lucky to walk away from injury free. I came home and she was lying in our bed reading a book, at the doorway I said very calmly in a monotone “I did something I regret this morning. I read your conversation on the computer. I think you should leave.” I left the house and drove to talk to an old high school girlfriend of mine that used to have a knack for seeing things right-side-up while I was down for the count.
She reckoned I needed closure and that I should go back and demand an explanation before getting her out. Good advice if I wasn’t such a bleeding heart. So I went back and we started to talk while she packed, she copped out and said she couldn’t explain it, I gave in and begged her to stay for one more week to see if we could work things out. Looking back I like to say I was giving myself time to come to terms with my newly recognized naivety. In reality I was probably just a sore loser doubling down on a long shot.
A week later after wringing out of her the tears I thought she owed me, she was picked up by a church friend of her’s, while I began the most self indulgent summer of my life. I like to think my behaviour was appropriate for a guy in my situation, but I wasn’t so much heartbroken as I was suddenly excruciatingly aware of how misguided and ill-conceived my good intentions once were (this is where all you readers can give yourselves a round of applause)… (okay you can stop now).
In my haze I met Bird (name changed to match mine). This woman, as pointed out by older friends of mine, was to embody the arrival of the good, honest, “someday you’ll find someone” that had been prophesied. Through three months of cunnilingus, a sex councillor, Gloria in excelsis deo, and massive time spent together I can truly say I love this woman. Having lost my virginity to her, baby stepped my way through an adult relationship, and arrived at a place that feels remarkably natural, I can say I greatly appreciate her patience and experience (three cheers for older woman – only a year and a half, but a far cry from three years my junior).
So THANK YOU Dopers, I’ve revisited your words regularly since then and I’m sure to ignore them once again in the future, then repeat them faithfully to those seeking refuge in my solace.
PS Bird and I are at 17 months, live together, and are working abroad together next summer.