Yeah, I know there’s already a “Goddamn Yankees…They Suck” thread, but I like to think that this one will have a premise with a certain subtle savoir-faire. So bear with me.
Okay. The Yanks blew the first two series games. My wife was depressed (not that either of us are sports fans, but she’s buying into the whole “Support the Yankees, Support the Devasted City” rap).
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “The Yankees will drop the first three, and then win four in a row, just becuase THEY CAN. All the sportswriters will orgasm about how it’s never been done before. The boys in the front office feel the need to give the rubes in the bleachers – not to mention the suits in the corporate boxes – a show, you know?”
Okay, so New York wins three in a row. Not only do they win three in a row, they pull game-tying runs out of their asses in the bottom of the ninth, with two outs, and then win it in the tenth…TWICE.
They’re like, TOYING with those Arizona fuckers, aren’t they? Like a big old tom with a catnip mouse?
Here’s my prediction for the rest of the Series: Arizona wins a desultory sixth game…the score’ll be something like 2-1. Then in the seventh, Arizona will rack up fourteen runs or so while New York goes hitless until the ninth inning.
With two outs, the Yanks will suddenly start banging baseballs all over the fucking place, and TIE THE SCORE! And, of course, go on to WIN THE GAME!!! in the extra innings. Maybe they’ll stretch that game to seventeen innings or something, just to manufacture some aura of suspense.
Remember, I’m no sports guy; I barely know which end of the bat you’re supposed to hold onto. But as an enthusiastic observer of human nature, and one with a Crap Detector in good working order, this whole 2001 World Series thing looks AWFUL damn fishy…not so much a sporting event as Bread and Circuses.
