I’m losing it. Totally losing it. It’s going to be something small and simple like this that eventually pushes me over the edge.
WHY THE FUCKING SHIT IS EVERY YOUTUBE VIDEO FUCKED UP!? ALMOST EVERY GODDAMN VIDEO has the audio out of sync with the video! I know that we live in an A.D.H.D. instant-gratification culture where 12-year-olds pound Red Bull + Ritalin cocktails while uploading the shit from their fucking Iphone fliptops, but FUUUUUUUCK, at least figure out WHATEVER YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT to get that shit to fucking sync up! Shit!
FUCK FACEBOOK! Fuck these memetic internet trends! Philip K. Dick was right! The Kingdom never ended! Why is MySpace suddenly not good enough!? I know MySpace is a piece of shit, but that makes no difference to you fucking chimps out there uploading your bathroom mirror pics and making your “networking” connections. One day, out of nowhere, “Friendster sucks…MYSPACE is where it’s at!”, and now it’s “MySpace sucks, FACEBOOK is where it’s at, BRO! INTER-BRO! The OMNIBRONET!” In a few weeks, it’ll be all "fuck Facebook, ZWINKY’s where it’s at! GET ZWINKY! GET GATOR CHILD RAPIST TOOLBAR HELPER!!!
GodDAMN it, whenver I see a guy wearing dressy shoes with jeans, I want to grab a champagne bottle and beat him to death. I want to befriend a child rapist. It makes me want to dogshit bukkake the world. Either A) you’re a stupid fucking slob trying to gussy up his “casual” look with some fucking dress shoes or even worse, you’re B) some rich, pompous fuck who’s been made so anhedonic by a lifestyle of affluence and office living that he’s literally incapable of going all the way “cazh” (that’s what they call “casual” in their cuntmouth lingo) and is incapable of “going sneaker” - it’s still gotta be a glossy leather shoe down there! FUCK YOU. This goes double for the jizzbag on your arm wearing heels with her jeans. Leave her in the dumpster where she belongs.
The Wonder Years is the greatest television show of all time, and I cry almost every episode. I’m so grateful that it’s being re-run again, and I watch it every night after working on my Proust. But why the FUCK does this network have to “screw and chop” every episode into a nearly unrecognizable hyper-edit breakcore IT’S THA MUTHAFUCKIN’ REMIX, YA’LLLLLLLLL! mess of instant commercial jumps? I swear to god, I feel like I’m having a seizure when I watch it. Kevin will just be finishing a line. "…and that’s when I realized that Dad was a lot like me. You see,"GET ZWINKY! GET IT NOW! GET IT AND FUCKIN’ SHOVE IT IN YOUR BROWSER! GET ZWINKY! DOTCOM! GET ZWINKY! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck . It’s like getting doused with fucking silly stirng in the middle of your father’s funeral!
Woah there, Sparky. While entertaining, me-thinks your rant is a bit over the top. Certain lines also have me a little worried :eek:
I’ll comment in turn by number.
Youtube works fine for me. Not sure what kind of videos you’re watching, but I have no problems most of the time.
While Facebook is lately co-opting some Myspace-like qualities, they are still very different animals. Facebook is absent of the gaudy graphics and music, and is aimed at a college crowd rather than middle/high-schoolers. Also, I believe Facebook has been around longer, not sure though.
Why such hate? I totally dont get this. Jeans and a dress shirt + nice shoes can look downright fashionable.
. ??? What does this mean? You want to befriend a child rapist so he can rape them for you, even though they dont sound like children. Or, you’d rather be raped than view somebody in jeans and dress shoes. !!! Interrobang x 100.
Chill the fuck out! You make it sound like this one show is your only pleasure in life. And, what is ZWINKY?
I think a blazer with jeans looks retarded. A blazer, dress shoes, and jeans? What the fuck is wrong with you? Is that some kind of statement? Are you on your way to the International Rodeo Congress? Just put on some regular fuckin’ pants.
Please don’t do that. There are better uses for champagne bottles (unless they’re empty, of course). Use a bottle of some cheap bad wine instead. If you can’t think of anything better to do with your champagne bottles, you could send them to me, and I’ll take care of them for you
It’s most noticeable on music vids, as you’re watching instrumentation and so on that goes horrifically out of sync after a moment. It’s something that people do wrong on their end before uploading.
It’s just a funny hyperbole statement, a completely over-the-top exclamation. What could be more XXXTREME than befriending someone completely ostracized by all levels of society!?
I’m not even going to link to it. They have the most irritating commercials on this PLANET.
Okay, I get it. VCO3 is applying for the OTT Lewis Black-type position on the Dope. Fine, the job’s yours. But…
I’m generally unimpressed with the quality of YouTube stuff anyway. I just want to see all the rare Smiths and Tears For Fears videos I can.
Facebook is great. MySpace is pants. Every single friend I’ve made on Facebook is… gasp! someone I actually know in real life, or connected in some way. The pages don’t make my eyes bleed and I feel it has something of a sophisticated “social networking” vibe. MySpace is this generation’s Geocities.
Just because you said that, I’m going to wear jeans and dress shoes to the Boston Dopefest tomorrow.
Whoosh, right? At least it’s better than “I AIN’T GOT NO MONEY… I AIN’T GOT NO CAR TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE… TALK TO ME GIRL” with young putzes on skates. Give me Zwinky over that any day.
I’m getting the hang of this. Go to hell, Timbaland and McDonalds!
What’s wrong with wearing heels with jeans? Granted, some heels would look ridiculous with some jeans, but that’s not always the case. I’d much rather see someone wearing heels with jeans than with a miniskirt short enough to be flashing asscheeks.
But don’t let me get in the way of the pleasure you derive from calling such women “jizzbags.” Carry on.
So, all this time I’ve been wearing heels with my jeans in an attempt to not be so frumpy-boring, and it’s been secretly inciting loathing in strangers.
Come now, let’s not disrespect the flashing asscheek look!
When I wear jeans I tend to wear boots with them, though I have been known to wear dress shoes. Do boots attract the same level of disdain from the OP?
Fair enough, no creases. Who creases their jeans, anyway?
Point of order - there is a form following function thing going on here. Department meetings, meetings with students and faculty, occasional hob-nobbing… and yeah, you’ve got to run over to the chalkboard and draw up a Venn diagram… shit, you’ve got chalk on your nice gray slacks!
Plus it might be pleasant out, but I guarantee one of the classrooms is frigid as hell. What do you want me to do, wear a cardigan and look like fucking Mr. Rogers?
