Damn it! Jessica Simpson makes cute shoes!

The BBQ Pit
1

The following rant is mild and lame, but it’s been bothering me, so I’m letting it out. Hopefully, someone here will appreciate this petty grievance more than my husband, who only has shoes without holes on the bottom because I buy them for him. So…

Damn it! Every time I go shoe shopping, I see cute heels that I need to own, and then my dreams are quickly dashed when I find out they’re part of the Jessica Simpson line. Her stupid shoes are super cute, but I can’t buy them. I just… can’t.

I don’t usually mind when celebrities decide they’re going to become fashion designers or haberdashers, or whatever, because their products suck. I was shopping this weekend and ran into a row of highly gaudy apparel and wondered, “Who the fuck would buy this tacky shit?” before realizing it was made by Beyonce. Figures. Don’t like you, not gonna buy your clothes, your singing voice is nasaly, and your clothing line looks like shit. But this Jessica Simpson crap is pissing me off. Two of four shoes I decided I liked on Saturday were made by this woman, so I had to put them back on the shelf. I was still able to find things I liked, but damn your cute, flirty stilettos, former pop singer you!

And another thing, stop making ties, Donald Trump! One day I was at Macy’s with the spouse, and the man commented, “I must be getting old,” because none of the ties were anything a reasonable adult would wear. We were surrounded by Bro ties (for a more complete definition of the term “Bro,” please see the following YouTube documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zvTRQr7ns8), or super high priced ties for old guys who are members of yacht clubs and wear monocles whilst playing polo. Where were the normal and attractive silk ties for regular adult men? Finally, we came across a collection of ties that were fairly priced, good looking, and dare I say classy, only to find they were Donald Trump ties. Gah! I am not going to purchase a Trump tie! Or steak!

Why not? Well first, who the fuck wants to eat a Donald Trump steak? But secondly, are Donald Trump and Jessica Simpson bigger assholes who a less deserving of my money than any other designer? Probably not, but I’m still not going to buy their clothes.

Stop making stuff that I want!

2

I’m with you. I feel like such a snob (reverse snob?), dammit, but seeing particular labels on clothing and shoes that I like just turns me right off. Don’t ask me why, but Tommy Hilfiger fits in here. And no, it’s not because of that whole ‘I don’t want black people buying my clothes’ urban legend.

As for ties, the SO should check out second hand stores or even vintage places (though not the ones that exclusively carry bright polyester). They tend to have tons of medium and skinny designer silk ties (Dior, Givenchy, etc.) and they’re usually on the cheap side because they have so many in stock.

3

This is the worst thing I’ve ever read.

I’m just telling you because it’s actually literally true.

4

Guilty. I read a magazine article that rather embarrassedly recommended Jennifer Lopez’ “signature” perfume called Glow, noting that it was a very lovely and even demure, subtle scent. This bit of info stuck in my head, so when I was at a store with perfume later, I sniffed it - it was nice! A tester spritz proved it also smelled really good on me, to the point that I ended up buying it. The problem for me is that quite a few other people agreed, and upon encountering me close-up enough that they would notice (hugging friends/relatives hello/goodbye, etc.), then they’d ask. And I’d end up explaining away the surprised looks - I am so not a teenager or a J.Lo fan - by going through the above explanation.

I usually switch perfumes after 6 months to a year at longest, so that’s no longer an issue, but I can’t say I’ve found another that got me as many compliments, so I’m considering checking it out again.

5

Never thought of that. Will do.

The Britney Spears perfume, surprisingly, does not smell like BBQ sauce and defeat.

6

Snerrrrk.

Yes, I understand exactly your problem; the perfectly adorable and very useful shoes my sister was wearing last month were just exactly what I wanted. I tried them on and they were even comfortable! I grabbed my laptop to order them when my sis said, “Uh, Woo, you should know these are by Jessica Simpson”. I gave her the :eek: and we both laughed. She said she resisted for weeks, but finally bought them because they were nice looking and comfortable. And reasonably priced.

We still felt dirty though.

7

I wonder how much of the actual designing she does?

And yes, her label does make really cute shoes, regardless of who’s actually designing them.

8

There’s no way she’s creating anything. I’m sure a starving designer and a marketing company crossed paths, then decided to find a celebrity whose name they could slap on a shoe line.

9

Oh come on you guys! Jessica does NOT design shoes, Beyonce does NOT design clothes, and Donald Trump does NOT design ties.
None. Nada. Zilch.
The most any of them do is possibly give the final nod to a line that is designed by someone else. And they’re probably told by others wheter to give a nod or not. They are just sticking their names on it so it sells.

Do you guys think George Foreman invented that grilling machine?

10

I’ll bet she’d make a cute lampshade too. :eek:

11

Yeesh. Be your own person. Be OK with liking what you like.

12

What’s the problem?

So she makes cute shoes and you like them. Then just BUY 'em already, for heaven’s sake. Who gives a crap that some airhead former pop singer “designed” them?

I have a Mary Kate & Ashley perfume and I’m 26. I get compliments on it and I’ll say straight up, “Yeah, it’s a Mary Kate & Ashley perfume! Seriously!”
Being ridiculously ANTI “label” is just as obnoxious as being a label whore.

13

Echoing Hampshire, do you really believe she’s sitting there with an artist’s pencil and a sketch pad designing and conceptualizing the shoes that bear her name?

14

Like she (Jessica) could see them if she was wearing a pair anyway :smiley:

15

I would crawl across flaming broken glass to take a sniff of the lugnut of the truck that took Jessica Simpson’s panties to the cleaner.

Or at least I would have at some point.

16

I’ll lay money that, of the people who’ve posted thus far, everyone sympathetic to the OP is female, and everyone baffled by it is male.

17

I know, I know, and it troubles me (though I am, on occasion, a self-loathing, hypocritical label whore). I know that these celebs aren’t personally responsible for their fashion lines, for the most part, but I guess I just can’t get past the branding. I suppose it makes sense – if they expect certain stars to be a major draw for certain demographics, they’re just as likely to repel others.

18

People, please, of course nobody believes she’s sitting around with a sketch pad designing shoes. I believe I said that in post #8.

Bosstone, I’m not so sure about that. My husband didn’t care about the J. Simpson thing because he doesn’t care about shoes, but he would not buy the Donald Trump tie.

19

I’m with you. I can’t buy Jessica Simpson stuff because in my mind I’m too old for her stuff and I think the entertainment world would be richer without her.

However, I buy Carlos Santana shoes. They’re no more or less youthful than Jessica Simpsons, but since I’m a fan of Santana’s for nearly 40 years, somehow that makes it ok. Weird, the psychology of consumerism.

20

I don’t think many dudes would wear Mary Kate & Ashley perfume like I said I did. Though I bet a confident one could pull it off!