This sort of thing happened at a friend’s 18th birthday party - in most cases, turning up an hour late isn’t a big deal because of how many people will be present on time, but it seemed that most people said ‘I’ll show up late’, I turned up about twenty minutes late due to traffic and the hostess was fretting about how few people had turned up on time. I’m always on time, within half an hour unless I’m held up at work or something similar. People who do this fashionably late thing to the point of inconveniencing everyone with dinner need a stern talking to.
It’s always a relief to the hosts when people arrive on time.
If you like your hosts, do that.
The reason people came late to your party was they weren’t that close to you - you invited beyond your close circle. That’s fine, and a good way to meet people, but those who don’t know you well want others to arrive first to be a buffer against the first awkward icebreaker conversation.
To avert the problem next time, recruit some people to arrive on time because they have been asked to bring something. Tell them you need them there on time with the ice, say.
I’m an extremely punctual person. Our family mantra has always been “unless you’re 15 minutes early, you’re late”. I’m flying out to NYC this weekend and plan on getting to the airport at 6:00am for our 7:45am flight.
That being said, when it comes to informal parties/non-dinner parties, I will always show up late unless specifically requested by the host to show up at a designated earlier time. Last Friday, we went to a party that said 7pm to ??? We showed up around 8:15 and there were people who were just about to leave and some folks that showed up an hour or two later. This party was hosted by more of a peripheral friend and that’s always been my guide for when to show up for a casual party. The closer the friend, the earlier I’d arrive.
This isn’t intended to be rude, it’s just been SOP with the group of folks I’ve always known.
Entirely situational.
A party that starts at “9:00 pm” would mean to me, “this is an evening party, where people stay and drink well past midnight”. Showing up anytime before midnight sounds acceptable.
However, if I actually KNEW you, and knew you wanted to have snacks and watch a movie or play “Cranium” with 5 other people, I’d show up on time.
If I was inviting 2 other couples over for dinner at 7:00, I would NOT be happy if they showed up at 8:30 without calling.
Matter of fact, we had a party a few weeks back. It started at 8:00. The first two people to arrive walked through the door at about 8:15 and I started shouting “NERD AWARD!!”
About 6 people showed up around midnight that night who were coming from another party. Most of the early comers had left. We all wound down with drinks.