I suppose a martyred terrorist would want virgins because he would know that an experienced houri would recognize him as being a short-peckered, self-centered, mommas boy with real issues as to his preferred means of sexual expression. Or something.
Buy the naive-looking gal at the bar a bunch of Bloody Marys?
[hijack]
After all this time of hearing allusions to Eve’s wonderful threads, it’s great to see they’re worth the hype!
Carry on.
[/hijack]
“After all this time of hearing allusions to Eve’s wonderful threads, it’s great to see they’re worth the hype!”
—[blushing prettily]
Ahhh… another great Eve thread title 
I would assume that, being Paradise, the 97 virgins have their virginity restored magiclly after being deflowered.
Which would suck big time for them, I would think.
Also, being Paradise, I would assume that these are educated virgins who know all the tricks and moves. Which would make 97 male virgins look a bit more interesting.
BTW, grienspace is right, it’s 72 virgin houris. (Appears in some obscure bit of the Hadith, the collection of “sayings of the Prophet” assembled by his disciples The depiction is really… interesting, in that the “ideal” of beauty is taken to an almost inhuman extent… something about their skin being so pale you can see thru to their shinbones, maybe it lost something in translation.) And yes, Arden, although “untouched by man or djinn”, it sez they are fully trained and mission-ready.
The other side of it is that you, the faithful martyr, will also be supernaturally transformed into a 30-year old with all blemishes or defects erased, and possessing of 100 times the normal virility.
Oh, and according to other later sources, not only do you get the 72 magical self-revirginizing maidens, you also get an indefinite number of “beautiful like pearls” serving-boys to keep the beverages flowing…
Here’s my question:
I can see why virginity was formerly valued – the whole “knowing the children are yours and not some other guy’s” thing. But I don’t see the value of it in Heaven. It seems like these guys look forward to being Cherry Poppin’ Daddies just for the experience of well, poppin’ cherries.
But really, where’s the fun in that? Is there some fabulous extra pleasure to be derived from being the first train into the tunnel, so to speak? Because I can’t see that there would be, but as a woman, what do I know about that? As a woman, what I do know is that for many the “first time” is not an experience of transcendent pleasure. If you were a guy contemplating heaven, wouldn’t you want 72 experienced women who really knew what they were doing?
i believe they want womens that don’t know too much. where would the wonderous pleasure of heaven be if you were surrounded by women who knew not to fall for that “here strap on this bomb, big boy” line?
A lifetime supply of NADS [sup]TM[/sup] and a Ginsu which is handy in slicing and dicing up any opposition between you and the cockpit.** But wait! there’s more! Sacrifice yourself now by blowing up the infidel and you will receive at no extra charge Ronco Pocket Fisherman!. Call now and receive two free tickets to a Monster Truck Pull Sunday-Sunday-Sunday!
Ehhhh, I am a moron. I read the line I quoted as " What do you GET with one virgin."
Never mind.
If they run out of male and female virgins – there’s always the goats.
Nope, Ghod/Allah/TheBigCheese saves those for the Scotsmen.
G, D, & RLMAISIJASSIBMWAL.*
[sub]Grin, Duck, and Run like my as is soaked in Jetfuel and Said Scotsman is behind me with a lighter.[/sub]
Why do the Scotsmen wear kilts?
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So the sheep won’t hear them coming.
Oh, they’ll hear him COMING…
Ann Coulter as a houri was not an image I needed, thank you.
Shirley… och lassie, by letting that secret out the sheep will now be putting out sentries.
Spoil my fun will ya?
You got it wrong.
Ït’s because the sound of the zipper scared them.
The terrorists were only promised 97 perpetual virgins; no one specified the details. Sure, Allah could just reflower (is that a word?) the virgins every day. But that would be the complicated way to do it. So my guess is Allah takes the easy way out and maintains the virgin supply by castrating all the incoming terrorists.
Say, did they specify that it’d be 97 virgin females?
Boy, could those guys be in for a surprise…
Well, the terrorist I saw on “60 Minutes” was fully convinced that he would be awarded 97 virgins at Allah’s throne (I guess there’s a virgin-deflowering pillow or something at the base of the throne, and Allah sits there and watches, maybe invites some friends in).
Isn’t this guy going to be gobsmacked when he gets up to heaven and the Lovely Carol Merrill pulls back the curtain to reveal only 72 virgins, and those are completely see-through, with their shin-bones stickin’ out!
. . . Hardly makes killing all those infidel heathen American Jews worthwhile . . .
Did it say that they’d be muslim virgins?
It would be fitting punishment for a terrorist to end up with 97 Jewish virgins. Imagine a virginal Fran Drescher with a bad case of the whines kvetching in your ear for all eternity.
Oy gevalt!