Q: Have you heard about the CIA’s Sinatra cover band?
A: Well, My Way is sheer torture, but they do an extraordinary rendition of Strangers in the Night.
Tasteless? Too convoluted? Throw your tomatoes at me, Dopers. Failing that, hit me with some more grim humor about spies, terrorists, and/or the secret police. Just make sure not to leave any marks.
Uh, lame?
But I’ve never been able to make up a joke before.
Jesus man, that’s almost as bad as the joke I made up when I was six:
Why did the watermelons get married in the church?
Because they were told they cantaloupe.
I was six.
My six year old DID make up a joke yesterday, not a bad one too.
I told him the “What do you call a deer with no eyes” joke.
(I can’t spoiler so here’s a little space)
NO IDEA!
and then the next joke-
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
STILL NO IDEA!
So then he made up two more of his own.
What do you call a deer with glasses?
BAD IDEA!
and
What do you call a deer with no glasses?
GOOD IDEA!
Groan.
Two thumbs up here for the “rendition”!
Sailboat
Did you hear they have a Nobel Prize for agriculture now?
They give it to a farmer who’s outstanding in his field.
Or how about:
How is matter like a priest on the Space Shuttle?
They both occupy space and have mass.
Oddly enough, I just read that joke on a Popsicle stick less than three days ago. I think you’ve got some moneys coming your way, DooWahDiddy. Or a free box of Popsicles or something.
damn fine joke it was too…
for a 6 year old 
Did you hear about the drummer with deja vu?
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There turned out to be some serious repurcussions.
ahem repercussions.
Q: Why did the canary nest in the Golden Gate Bridge?
A: He wanted to be the San Francisco Tweet.
(Got no excuses, I was an adult when I made this one up. Or, at least, old enough to drink. Not that I do, much, so I don’t even have the excuse of being drunk.)
Where did the dress maker build his dressmaking shop?
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On the outskirts of town.
Sorry, I don’t get any of those. Is it the late night?
Say it out loud. No idea sounds like no-eye deer, if you imagine that you have some kind of accent where r’s at the ends of words get dropped.
Dammit, I knew that would happen! Oh well, I’ve always been ahead of my time. I better send them my address so they know where to send the lifetime supply of Popsicles (cherry, please!).
There’s one kind of similar to Hokkaido Brit’s that goes: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Answer: A fsssssshhhhhhhhh.
I didn’t make that one up… but it’s kind of cute anyway.
Or, more likely, you have that accent that causes you to put an ‘r’ at the end of “idea”.
What is that accent, anyway?