Bad Jokes

Bad Jokes
I’ve herd some really bad jokes in the little time I’ve been alive but, I’m looking for the absolute worst of bad jokes and the joke “{Why is 6 afraid of 7, because 789” is out of the running. I appreciate all answers.

What do you get when you cross a mink with an octopus?
A coat of arms!

Three guys walked into a bar…

The fourth one ducked.


Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A. “Where’s my tractor?”



Q. What’s brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

Three Irishmen walked out of a bar…Hey it could happen.

From Monty Python’s Flying Circus

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?


This one’s best when everyone fairly well buzzed:

Me: Ask me if I’m a truck?

Victim: Are you a truck?
<pause about 10 seconds>
Me: NO!

Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

A: Bingo.

What sounds like "HA HA plop plop?

A man laughing his balls off.

What’s green and smells like red paint?
Red Paint!

(i feel so dirty)


Don’t worry about it Upham, it’s much funnier that way!

Q. Why was the boy sad?
A. Because his butt was blue.

Q. How old is Mojo Jojo?
A. 150.

Q. Why did Santa give his sleigh to the Easter bunny?
A. Because he didn’t have any reindeer.

Q. What are the Powerpuff Girls made out of?
A. Cotton.

A baby seal walked into a club.

A Rabbi, a cowboy and a nurse walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this a joke?"

A horse walks into a bar, bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Two peanuts are walking down the streat, one was a salted.

A dog walks into a bar, holds up his bangadged hand and say, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”

What do you call a boomerang that does not return ?

A stick!

What’s Rupert Bear’s middle name ?


What is green, has six legs and if it jumped out of a tree onto you would kill you ?

Snooker table

Why do elephants have big ears ?

Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom.

What is bright pink and screams,
A freshly peeled baby dipped in salt.

A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”
I slay me.

What’s a zebra?

26 sizes larger than an A bra…
Why should you swallow your Viagra quickly?

So you don’t get a stiff neck.

Does it jump on cue?
Just wait… I have more… muahahaha :wink:

I remembered two more that were pretty bad.

You hear about the gay sperm whale?
Bit the head off a submarine and sucked out all the sea men.

How do you circumcise a whale?
With four skin divers.

The great world and spiritual leader Gandhi was noted for walking great distances barefoot, and also having a very strange diet that made him very weak and also gave him horrible breath. So this made him a…

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

Did you hear about the swami who refused novacaine?

He wanted to Transcend Dental Medication.

Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?

A: Shoot him with a blue shotgun.

Q: How do you kill a pink elephant?

A: Squeeze his trunk until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue shotgun.
[sub] I love bad jokes…[/sub]