Counters with a Time magazine sent back through time from 2050 AD, in which Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is ranked as one of the top 10 movies of the 20th century.
Attacks with Starbucks coffee franchises.
Counters with 15 gallons of southern moonshine smuggled in the trunk of a Dodge Charger named after Civil War General and served in mason jars.
Attacks with audio book: James Joyce’s Ulysses read by Gilbert Gottfried
Counters with a set of double pane sound proof glass.
Attacks with an Ace Ventura 2 marathon.
Counters with the Godfather trilogy.
Attacks with a night home alone with no phone calls and no messages.
Counters with a bottle of NyQuil
Attacks with waking up in a sleazy motel with someone unknown next to you.
Counters with a condom that hasn’t been removed yet, a used condom draped over the lampshade, another used one in the corner. Don’t forget about the used condom in the sleazy motel bathroom sink, and yet another used condom in the trash can next to the empty Vaseline and UltraGlide containers.
Attacks with your ugly which mother-in-law casting a spell on you, and making you do wacky things in front of your jerk advertising agent boss. Ahh but the caveat is that you don’t allow your which spouse to do any magic!
May God have mercy on my soul… this is, of course, supposed to say “witch”.
~sigh~
Couters ‘ugly which mother-in-law casting a spell on you’ blah blah blah with a ‘My Favorite Martian’ marathon (a MUCH better show IMHO)
Attacks with a ‘book’ of ‘Bart Simpson’ acid.
Ack, I hope I dont get banned for that last post…
To the Powers-That-Be (administrators/moderators): um…sorry
-Blah
Counters with 12-14 hours of happy, peaceful times mixed in with some trip-toys and a boatload of water.
Attacks with the Kent State National Guard troops.
Counters with the governor of Ohio being abducted by aliens and replaced by Abbie Hoffman.
Attacks with Lance Bass returning from space affected by strange radiation which causes him to grow to 50 feet tall.
Counters with Rick Moranis and his incredible shrinking ray.
Attacks with a killer rabbit.
Counters with a machine gun and a few belts of ammo.
Attacks with a ton of lemonade powder.
Counters with another hare-brained scheme from Ed, Edd, & Eddy.
Attacks with a telemarketer.
Counters with The Tele-Zapper
Attacks with Jack Chick and Creationist Cartoons
Counters Jack Chick and Creationist Cartoons with an ‘industrial grade Human Remains Incenerator’…
Attacks with The Publious Enigma…
Um…Someone please check through the posts since my last Scoreboard post and figure out the points…I have NO time…
Yo,
Explanation of my last post:
The Law requires about 5 times the Temp and about 10 times the time of incinerating ‘Human Waste’ ie bodies…(at least with the Law of Cleveland, OH)
But this is all moot b/c im sure someone would have posted by the time my slow A!$ Juno connection finaly completed this post…
-Blah
Counters “Publious Enigma” with a spell checker
Publius Enigma
Attacks with White after Labor Day
Attacks with Goth, where black is acceptable in any season.
Counters with a busy signal from your ISP.
Counters with your choice of broadband or AT&T Worldnet dial-up at $4.95 for 250 hours a month.
Attacks with a piece of beef jerky between your teeth and no dental floss around for miles.