Counters with a toothpic
Attacks with Cecil Adams
While we all know the Perfect Master can never be used for ones own devices (unless those devices are the education of the great unwashed), I will counter with Ed Zotti.
And attack with the great unwashed masses.
Counters with a firehose and buckets of soapy water.
Attacks with an army of West Nile Virus mosquitoes.
Counters with an old, decrepit Taiwanese native “Grandpa” (who, we all know, has built up such a defense to the terrifying Taiwanese mosquitoes that no pathetic foreign insects can overcome him.)
Attacks with a pack of starving, slavering wolves.
Counters with a string of sasages tied together on the ends
Attacks with a college eduacation, insistant parents and no marketable skills
Counters with Winning Mega Millions
Attacks with the Bronte Sisters
Um counters The Bronte Sisters with, the very obvious ‘Consumption’ disease…
Attacks with the embodiment of all things evil, The Snuggles Bear… And with the abuse of commas, and ellipsees,…
Counters with the porcupine, who finally just props his spikes and impales the stupid li’l bear.
Attacks with the thread killer.
Counters with the ever popular “No, I’m the thread killer”.
Attacks with two turntables and a microphone.
Would counter attack but doesn’t know “where it’s at”,
attacks with covert grandmas trying to get their hands on my breakfast cereal.
Counters with “I don’t eat cereal”
Attacks with a truckload of sand.
Counters with an entire grade school armed with small plastic buckets and shovels.
Attacks with a binder full of loose leaf paper, a ruler and 10 freshly sharpened number 2 pencils.
Counters with two days of overdue math homework (labor day threw me for a loop. I thought wednesday was tuesday , and just recently found out the tuesday was tuesday, and wednesday was two days ago),
Attacks with a blizzard on christmas, and rudolph with a stopped up nose.
Counters with a snow grader loaded with 12-hour Afrin nasal spray.
Attacks with 1024-bit RSA encryption.
Counters with a 9 year old autistic child.
Attacks with relentless optimism
Counters with Andy Rooney.
Attacks with… uh, whatever this is.
counters with Bonsai Kitten
attacks with swallowing gum
ahh, nice attack it gives the opportunity to counter with:
The straight dope on the matter
Attacks with Nepolian Bonapart after watching a discovery channel special on winter
Counters with a measuring tape to show the poor guy how lacking in stature he is…his self-esteem ruined, the little man goes running into his bedroom to cry.
Attacks with endless hours of confusing math homework.
Counters with Revenge of the Nerds.
Attacks with a runcible spoon.