In the spirit of cooperation and understanding, we give you The Idiot Atheist.
And we didn’t get you anything! Actually I was going to present you a Christian idiot, but there were too many to choose from. Would you like a gift certificate?
Hold on, am I expected to chip in for this?
… what’s he doing to my tree?
I thought we had decided to go with the fruit basket.
We…um…sorta ate it last night on the way back from Costco.
Sorry.
Czarcasm, you shouldn’t have!
But is he still going to be alive by Boxing Day? 
At the rate he’s going, such a delicate flower might not last till Hanukkah, so enjoy him while you can.
N/m
Edit.
God told me not to post that or else.
Who’s fighting?
What?
A chintzy gift like that? It comes out to something like 12 cents apiece.
Yeah, well, I still shoulda been asked.
I read that thread, and clicked on the link he finally reluctantly provided which was going to prove who wrote the Bible, but lost interest when I saw the Great Wall of Text that popped up. Can someone skim through and summarize for me? Was it space aliens or the Illuminati?
It wasThe Jews!
Hey, he’s “just asking questions”!
Never mind that. What was the age of the space aliens? What year did the Illuminati write it? I won’t be satisfied with superficial answers.
Hey, the check and stamp and envelope ain’t free, damn it. I mean goddamn it. I mean god did it. I meanHEY LOOK IT’S A GRAY-TUFTED GEEZER!
He’s an atheist now? I thought he was going to tell us God wrote the Bible. I think it was Francis Bacon.
Hey could one of you assholes tell him that just because he’s a stocking stuffer, doesn’t mean he gets to walk around wearing nothing but a red sock on his wang. He’s tainting the nog.
I mean, sheesh, if you’re gonna give a gift, make sure it’s not leaving short and curlies all over the furniture.
Mmmmm… bacon…