A Conversation with Bjorn

The BBQ Pit
1

I don’t know where else to post this thread–it isn’t really a Great Debate, nor is it a General Question. MPSIMS is crashing with depressing regularity. So here it is, in the Pit.
Okay, folks, I want to try an experiment. I have a theory that Bjorn could converse normally if everybody wasn’t raggin’ on him about spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc., and shouting at him about his weird postscripts. Yes, I’ve read some of the threads in the Archives, but sometimes you just have to find a thing out for yourself, you know?
So, I’m posting this “Conversation with Bjorn” thread to test this theory. If it turns out to be totally awful, I will ask Lynn to close it (although I admit there’s a distinct possibility that she’ll leave it open “to teach me a lesson”. :slight_smile: If so, I will wear my battle scars with dignity and pride.
Besides, the “sarcasm and irony” thread is taking too long to load and is getting confusing and weird, and I think Green Bean’s “letter” has made its point. IMHO, of course. :slight_smile:
Here are the ground rules for “A Conversation with Bjorn”:
[ul][li]Spelling doesn’t count.[/li][li]Neither does punctuation.[/li][li]Neither does capitalization.[/li][li]Neither does grammar.[/ul][/li]I have said it before, and I’ll say it again–I don’t care how a person says something, as long as it’s interesting. If your typewritten copy looks like something from the Special Ed class, I don’t care, as long as you’ve got something to say.
And for those inevitable few among you who will find it amusing to kick sand in the face of this ground rule by intentionally posting with idiotically scrambled punctuation and capitalization (“tee-hee!”), I will only say that I shall recline at my ease up here on my mountaintop, watching with interest and amusement the antics of the tiny creatures below. :slight_smile:
[ul][li]No pointless Bjorn-bashing. However, I do realize that this is the Pit, so of course you may bash if it seems truly necessary, say for purposes of mental health.[/li][li]Bjorn shall have the freedom, as shall everyone else participating in this conversation, to put as many strange and gnomic utterances into his postscripts as he pleases, and the rest of us shall try to grin and bear it.[/li][li]However, WE shall have the freedom to use as much sarcasm and irony as we feel necessary to the flow of conversation. If Bjorn declines to participate in this conversation for that reason, then I guess this thread will simply sink to the bottom of the list and eventually disappear.[/ul][/li]I asked Bjorn yesterday in another thread, “What do you want?” This was his reply:

**
This sounds reasonable to me. He wants the acknowledgement that “Everyone is entitled to his opinion, unless the person with an opinion doesn’t acknowledge that another person with an opinion has a right to that opinion.” Gee, I can’t hardly disagree with that. Isn’t that what the SDMB is all about?
Okay? Let’s begin.
Bjorn, here’s your assignment. Go to the front door of wherever you live, look around outside for a few minutes, and try to think of either something you see out there that you’d like to change, or something that you see out there that you hope NEVER changes. OK? And please try to think of a topic more substantial than, say, “My neighbor’s mailbox is really ugly, I wish he’d paint it,” or, “I hope Joe’s Pizza never goes out of business.”
Be prepared to discuss why you feel this way, about whatever it is.
We eagerly await your reply. :slight_smile:
And no, I am not making fun of you.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

2

i alreaddy know taht this is gonna be teh most funy post in sdmb histry

3

Good luck. I will be watching this one with no small degree of interest.

4

I seriously disagree.

Notthemama says:

And, if it’s said so incomprehensibly that no one can tell that it’s interesting?

If bjørn actually has something to say (debateable in itself, but I’ll accept the hypothesis for the sake of argument), then shouldn’t he say it in a way that we can understand?

“I don’t just want you to feel envy. I want you to suffer, I want you to bleed, I want you to die a little bit each day. And I want you to thank me for it.” – What “Let’s just be friends” really means

5

Well, my neighbor’s mailbox is really ugly and I wish he’d paint it, now that you mention it.

6

why thank you notthemama, i really enjoyed that op of yours.

i guess that depends on: if i want you to understand my post; if you want to understand my post; if i dont want you to understand my post; if you dont want to understand my post; and last but not the least, if understanding has got anything to do with reading my post.

there is one thing i would like to change…perhaps its more than one thing, and perhaps its not. anyway, ill be back for that later…

bj0rn - is this going to be a ask the bj0rn…if so, i want this thread in the great debates :wink:

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Well, I personally don’t have that much trouble understanding him so far, but there’s always so much sniping going on from the bushes that it’s hard to tell which way the conversation is going. Also, the topics that he’s been talking about lately haven’t been terribly interesting or edifying–“I wish you people would stop using sarcasm and irony”, and responding to the request, “Bjorn, learn to spell.”

All around us are people talking about interesting things, like seat belts, and communism, and masturbation, and for some reason Bjorn isn’t involved in very many of those conversations. I want to know why.

So that’s the purpose of my little experiment–if we throw out all the grammar rules, and promise him “no sniping”, does he have anything to say? Does he know how to “converse”, as opposed to merely “talk”? I’m curious.

And I forgot to mention–in this thread, the penalty for sniping about grammar, etc. will be as follows: the perpetrator will be sentenced to go over to General Questions and answer the next three (3) posts asking for trivial information about rock bands from fewer-than-5-posts newbies.

So consider yourselves warned! :smiley:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

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Hi, Bjorn! No, I wasn’t planning on this turning into “Ask Bjorn”, because that’s not a conversation, it’s an interview. If Lynn thinks this thread ought to be moved somewhere else, that’s fine with me. It’s up to her.

And yes, I do want to understand your posts. :slight_smile:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

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I thought your neighbor’s mailbox was the same regulation gray as yours?

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Actually, I now feel ashamed, because my mailbox isn’t very attractive, either. I bet my neighbors are upset.

Ooh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is `How to increase your word power’. That thing is really, really… really… good. – Homer, ``Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington’’

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bj0rn:

Well that pretty well settles it for me.

And my mail box is one ugly brute but it works well!

Yours truly,
aha

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whyshouldweputupwithnorulesatallshouldntbjornforoncehave
toagreetowritecorrectlynothtemammathisdoesntmakeanysense
tomeandnoidontagreethatallopinonsaretrueifthatisthecase
thenallopinio nsarealsofalse
andthentheyaremeaninglessithinkthatweshouldeitherhavea
threadwhereifbjornwantstoplayhehastofollowtherulesofthe
gameorjuststayonthesidelinesohwellprobablynoonewillread
thisifyoudojusttypethewordpenguinsatmeandillknowbucky
ohwellwecanalwaysmakemorekillbotspsnotusingspacesisjust
mystyleandismyrightsothere

(Note to self: Kill Bucky if he does this again. -Lynn)

[Note: This message has been edited by Lynn Bodoni]

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yehwhatbuckysaid

Yours truly,
aha

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Hi, there, Bucky! Welcome to the “Conversation with Bjorn” thread. Say, sweetie, you probably don’t realize it, but there’s something wrong with the space bar on your keyboard–that post came out, like, totally strange, you know? And what’s more, it’s screwing up the word wrap for everybody, so we’ll all have to horizontal scroll from now on to read any further posts from you. Bummer, huh? They’ve got keyboards on sale down at Staples; personally, I wouldn’t bother trying to fix it, you know? Life’s too short. And a new one is only, what, 10 bucks? Anyway, if you do manage to get it fixed, and want to re-post it so’s I can read it, that would be great! :slight_smile:

Say, Lynn, is there anything you can do to fix Bucky’s post so we don’t all have to spend forever and a day horizontal scrolling? Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! :slight_smile:

I notice that Aha’s keyboard seems to have the same problem. Did you guys buy them at the same place, or what? Let us know, woudja, so we can all NOT go there.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

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I’m staying out of this one for the good of the community.

And because I can’t stand having to scroll back and forth for every line.

“History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” -Winston Churchill

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Damnit Bucky, could you and your penguins have found some other way to illustrate your point without fucking up the screen?

Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate mother-fucker.

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(kicking the dirt and looking down)

It’s all Bucky’s fault.

Yours truly,
aha

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-=-=-=-=-=-
whyshouldweputupwithnorulesatallshouldnt
bjornforoncehavetoagreetowritecorrectly
-=-=-=-=-=-

Dammit, Bucky, I have to say, for at least the next min r so, I don’t like you anymore…

I’m not very good at grudges, so Thhhpppt. K, it’s outta my system - no more anger - hate horiz scolls. Now I’m curious as to what Bj0rn has to say.
Morkster

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(Note to self: CreoSote’s on the list, too. -Lynn)
[Note: This message has been edited by Lynn Bodoni]

19

The sooner we get off this page the sooner we get rid of the horizontal scroll.

bj0rn, hon, I think you kinda missed Notthemama’s point here. It appears that she doesn’t want this to be yet another thread about your style of posting, but an actual conversation about something (anything) else.

Jez

PS… Hepzibah (if you are who I think you are, if not, apologies): your neighbors have been complaining nonstop about your mailbox. I suggest you change it.

20

Hey, Creosote, I know I said I wasn’t gonna criticize anybody’s typewritten copy, but gee, golly, I would be just a really, really happy camper if you’d figure out how to use quotes–every time I see those =-=-=- I think it’s one of those decoration-thingies like we used to use Before Smilies, and I sit there staring at it, until I realize, “Oh, it’s supposed to be quotes, not Art.” :slight_smile:

I’m old, I can’t help it. My eyes ain’t what they used to be, even with bifocals.

Hey, if I can figure out the UBB tutorial, anybody can. (It’s up in the FAQ.)

But, of course, if it’s part of your “personal style” I wouldn’t dream of asking you to change it. :slight_smile:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen