jarbabyj
I think that the point is not that you’re OK being at that low level, but that you can go down to it if needed.
Feynn, feel free to use that any time you please. It usually sends my heathens into fits of giggles, but they know that I have reach the end of my rope and it usually stops them from trying to kill each other in public.
I’ll tell you I’ve come up with some good ones while out in public with them.
Kricket “Why don’t you act your age while were in public?”
Heathen number 2 “But mom, I’m only 10!”
Kricket “Well then, act my age and we will get along fine”
Heathen number 4 “mom, I feel something in my pants!”
Kricket “okay honey, that’s nice. What is it?”
Heathen number 4 has had a habit of sticking crayons and cars down said pants since he was in diapers and he is going on five next month.
Heathen number 4 “I feel my nuts!” Giggles out of him ensue
Mind you all we are in Wal-mart at this time in the check out line.
Kricket “Do not play with your nards in public. If they fell off here, they would hit the floor and roll away maybe even under a display case, and if you think I’m crawling under them to get them you are just wrong buddy”
Fits of laughter from the Goth looking teens behind me telling me that I am one of the coolest moms around since I didn’t freak on heathen 2.
I turned and told them nothing phases me anymore he being one of the youngest out of five I have seen it all.
One of the best was when we took all the kids to Wal-mart and I told them that if they touched one more toy that made noise and turned them all on again, I was going to pull their little fingers off and they would never be able to pick their noses again.
Yes, I’m twisted, but it keeps me sane. 
I just hope that the sandwich wasn’t made with Nutella. It would be like having a dead fly on raisen bread.
I just have to say, as a woman nearly 6 months pregnant with her first child, that you people are scaring the hell out of me.
And here I thought I all I had to worry about was the kid pooping on the cats.
Damn.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CeeJay}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Don’t worry love! By the time you are assimilated it will be too late to notice. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Sure Kricket–first you hug me then you get all diabolical on me.
Hmmm, that seems like a good parenting skill. I’ll make a note of it.
Hey, Kricket, could you move in with me around March of next year and stay for a while…at least until my kid is in college? Pretty please?
<------reaches for leather straps. Here, lemme help you out here…
Okay, enough folderol. jarbaby, so she was a poor breakfast cook. I see a small difference between a snickers bar and Pop Tarts. Really. And TONS of kids get fed them, and their preservative-packed equals on a daily basis. One can hope that this was an isolated morning.
Out of context, we’ll never know. I’m sorry it set your teeth so much on edge. I DO have contempt for anyone with kids in public who makes someone else responsible for watching their kid, even for a split second. There’d better be one kid with a severed artery somewhere before a stranger asks ME to watch their other kid.
Cartooniverse, who wholeheartedly agrees that the jarbaby household isn’t quite big enough.
How convenient that this thread is still visible so I can update you on the latest in good Cranky parenting.
We decide to have a picnic in the park tonight. Mr. Cranky chooses a picnic table a little too close to the lake for my tastes, but oh well. I’m popping up to watch Cranky Jr when he wanders by the water, but Mr. Cranky reminds me that Cranky Jr is a water chicken and won’t jump in. No, I say, but he could slip in when he was watching ducks instead of his footing. But hey, my dinner is getting cold, and I’m hungry. So I sit back down but do not take my eyes off Cranky Jr.
Which means I see the nanosecond he loses his footing and starts sliding down the bank. I squawk, Mr. Cranky bolts, we both tear over and Mr Cranky gets there first to fish Cranky Jr out of the lake, who is face first and can’t right himself on the mossy bottom. Thank god he (a) held his breath and (b) was no more than 3 seconds away from us. He came up mad but he hadn’t swallowed a drop.
So we had an unexpected swimming episode, one I pretty much could have predicted but allowed to happen because I’m lazy and attached to food.
Cranky Jr cried but we tried to make like this was no big deal since I don’t want him to be terrified of water. After lots of hugs he was back to heaving rocks into the water. All three of us were soaked with nasty lake water before all the comforting was over, of course. Mmmmmmmm, nasty lake water. This could be you!
But you know, the most interesting thing about this episode is that it’s three hours later and I’m still wearing the same rank shirt. Lake water is nothing after what I’ve worn/touched/wiped up in the last two years.
…just thought I’d pop in and mention that you don’t have to have a child.
I know a lot of people do, and a lot of people are doing OK. There are lots of people who are very bad at it (I work at a child abuse hotline). I hope that if you have a child, it’s because you really, really want to have a child. I think that is the one factor that separates the parents who may not feel emotionally, financially, etc. ready to have a child, do so anyway, and are great parents from the parents who have the child because they figure ‘well, we may as well have a child’ and end up feeling resentful and trapped, and turn out to be horrible parents who are stuck with their decision.
I think there is not near enough thought that goes into this decision. I also think there is not near enough recognition of the fact that deciding not to have them is a very valid option. So, don’t feel pressured to take the plunge just because you know you could do better, or because you’ve reached that age, your parents want a grandbaby, whatever. Only decide to have one when you’ve decided you really want one.
Ah! The joys of parenting! My adorable 3-yr. old stripped down to nothing at the water park because his swimsuit was wet yesterday. He then threw the offending garment onto the sandy ground so I had to leave him in all his glory for a moment to rinse off the suit and then hold him down while I put it back on his little bottom. He was not a happy little boy and I got A LOT of looks—not many of which were understanding. Oh well.
My favorite line was from a friend of mine. His daughter was throwing a temper tantrum; screaming, kicking; the whole nine yards so he picks her up, tucks her under his arm football style and carries her out. On his way, a woman approached him and says with all the disdain she can muster “I hope that child is yours” and he says in turn “Lady, Do you think I would steal one like this?!”
My $.02; the only reason to have children is because you love them and you want them.
MissB, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a while.
And Beth my love, when your little evil is up and walking let me know, and I will have to come and visit you. (gives me a chance to escape the heathens)
My favorite thing to do with these times (w/parents permission) is to rate the temper tantrum “Nice use of lung power- you’ve really achieved an interesting color on your face. The bit about throwing yourself on the floor could use a bit of work, though, don’t you think?”
The net effect is that it often distracts them enough that you can approach them reasonably about the issue. It certainly stops them momentarily, which can be a blessing all by itself.
Wring, I’ve done that with my kids before.
It’s especially funny when you catch them off guard and it stuns them and they stop.
Better yet is when you throw yourself down next to them to show them how they could improve upon it.
I love it! One time we were shopping, I’d asked young one what he wanted for dinner that night, he didn’t answer, but some time later he did this hellacious temper tantrum. Well, we were by the meat counter at the time, and I guess something caught his eye, so he says “I’ve decided what I want for dinner”.
“Too late. You’re getting cardboard with sauce on it”. Stopped him cold in his tracks.
Creative parenting 101.