A double-barrelled question her, since I’m sure this is bound to generate some interesting replies.
Let’s say you discover that a close friend’s teenage daughter (under 18) is sexually promiscuous. Not merely sexually active, but has been with a large number of guys/girls (say, most of the Football/Netball team), and everyone except her parents knows that for a good time all they need to do is provide some alcohol/pot and penis, to borrow a Dopeism, will inevitably ensue.
So, the question up for debate is this: Would you pull the parent(s) aside and have a discreet word? Not necessarily “Hey, your daughter’s a ho and even my teenage kids have tag-teamed her”, but perhaps something more discreet and less “to the point”, depending on the parents.
Part II is similar: If your daughter was the one sleeping around, would you want to know?
I suppose a lot would have to do with how much under 18 she is. Generally speaking, her sexuality is her business, maybe her parent’s business, and her doctor’s business…definitely not your business. Maybe your kids could talk to her about getting the safe sex thing going. However, if this is a much younger kid who is being taken advantage of, I think my response would be to say something.
In a word, no. You’ll end up the scape-goat. Maybe an anonymous letter warning of impending grandparent status. Unfortunately, at 16, the young lady enjoys the enviable position of knowing everything there is to know about life and will be beyond intervention. They only thing the parents can do is make her aware of 2 things: they aren’t going to baby-sit her kids and life as a parent is not easy. On the positive side, it’s possible the young lady has already taken the necessary steps to prevent this (given her track record).
I was thinking in the 13-16 age group. And before anyone wonders where the OP came from, I was at the mall with my brother yesterday, absolutely gobsmacked at the number of young girls (in the 13-17 age group, I’d guess) wearing clothes that wouldn’t be out of place in a bad porn film.
Normally I’d say that teenager’s sex lives are their own, but I- if I was a parent- would want to be reassured that my (hypothetical) 15 year old daughter was taking the necessary precautions, regardless of whether she was with one guy or five guys, or girls (whatever floats her boat!), and to me that would mean I’d want to know- in generalities, not specifics, though…
It’s up to the parents to have that talk with their kids (and it should happen long before the kid is 15 in my opinion). If they choose not to, that’s their business.
You should cut out the middleman, and just walk around the mall with a spear, goring every girl who dresses like a slut. The whores! Clearly, any girl showing skin you don’t want to see is having sex with most of the football/netball team, and it’s obviously your business, even if you don’t know her or anyone related to her.
When I was in high school in Canberra we had a girl transfer from Melbourne. Rumour had it she was like the girl posited in the OP. Because she lived near me I often used to be giving her a lift home. I really liked her an awful lot but she was too slender for me to find her attractive, but she liked the fact that we were often alone together but I never tried anything.
One night we ended up parked outside her place waiting for her parents to come home (teenagers didn’t have keys in those days - I never had a key to my childhood home until years after I moved out) and I asked her about all the rumours. Turned out that she was far more promiscuous than you or I may approve of, but she knew what she was doing.
A fifteen year old who’s done the football team? You do *realize * this sounds like a masturbatory fantasy, right?
But to humor you, I wouldn’t say anything to the parents. If I were really that concerned, I’d say something to the girl. If she’s old enough to be sexually active, she’s old enough to deal with directly.
Oh, do you not feel comfortable with that?
Then it’s probably best to mind your own business.
Do you have any proof that dressing in that style is a sign of sexual promiscuity? OTTOMH
Bratz- dolls marketed at girls from 3-15. They carry cell phones, drive flashy cars, sport bling bling, and dress like pornstars. The Bratz have their own saturday morning cartoon on Fox.
My Scene- Bratz rip offs.
The Winx Club- Girls who are sorceresses and fairy princesses. They tend to wear platform shoes. Their shirts start below the collarbone, and end well above the navel. They wear short shorts and mini skirts. You can see them on Fox as well.
The porn star/hooker trend in girls clothing has been going on for years now. Search the average mall and you can find porn star clothes made for six year olds. I hate this trend a great deal. But wearing these clothes does not indicate sexual activity. The girls are simply following a trend, and wearing what their friends wear. If the next trend was pink bhurkas, they’d wear that. This is the other problem, the porn star clothes are in girly colors, with glitter, and girly designs. This appeals to young girls, who do not understand why mom and dad don’t want them to have the pretty outfit with the funny words (“I’m a naughty girl”) on it.
Yes, an anonymous letter sounds good. I’m sure that her parents will believe a writer afraid to reveal their identity who accuses their young daughter of sexual promiscuity. To reinforce your case, use words like “slut”, “whore” and the old favourite, “harlot”. I might want to think about wearing gloves, though. Sometimes the police can be awfully unsympathetic to anonymous busybodies who just want to improve the moral character of the area’s youth.
/sarcasm
Seriously though, what the hell business is it of yours? I would just forget the whole thing.
Part II: Yes, I would want to know, so that I could ship her to a nunnery on a mountain top in Tibet with not even a nomadic tribe within a month’s hike. That and ensure that they will be recruiting an all-new football/netball team next year - hell, I’ll make it so that next year’s class is all-girl.
Part I: Depends on how well I know the parents, and my family’s relationship with the girl’s family. It’s amazing how clueless some very caring parents are.
Oh, ease off the OP. All he said was seeing those girls made him think of promiscuity. He didn’t say he assumed they were all whores. Teenage girls dressing like sluts make me feel dirty too.
I’d be really careful though. It’s amazing how defensive some very caring parents can be when confronted with the possibility that their precious angel has done something wrong.
Assuming that the girl is in the 13-15 age group then my vote is to talk to your friend’s daughter first. Of course, the effectiveness of this approach is entirely based on your relationship with the girl. Generally speaking, auntie/uncle so-and-so will be significantly more compelling than mom and dad. If you two are not that close, however, then all of your options are pretty poor.
As far as approaching the parents directly is concerned, it is hard to make “Your daughter is a ho-bag.” sound nice.
Man what you got is gold here, buddy! Take her out and show her how refined you are. Then put the moves on her. If she rejects your advances, threaten to tell her parents about the entire football team and her lesbian tendencies. With any luck she’ll put out and your friend will never find out.
Or just mind your own business. Chances are a lot of your friends have daughters like that. Girls these days are desperate because the guys are seriously whimpy and all have receding hairlines.
