14 year old daughter [boyfriend advice]

In My Humble Opinion
1

My daughter has had this ongoing, seemingly innocent relationship with a boy she met on Xbox 360 live. I have talked to him myself and seen pictures of him and he is 15 years old and sounds polite etc. etc.
I havent fought the relationship but have set boundaries on what they can talk about. It seems when I fight something, she only wants to do it more so I have down played it and allowed it.
I checked where she was googleing last night and she was looking into things like “should you be embarrassed to tell your boyfriend you masturbate?”

I am soooo freaked out right now. I know masturbation happens at this age but talking to your boyfriend about it?, Oh my God!!!

Any ideas on how to approach this other than taking away all communication methods she has?

HELP

Julia

2

Not seeing a problem.

3

Forum change reported.

Hi Julia, you’ll get more answers in another forum so I’ve asked the mods to move this to that forum.

4

Let’s see if I can flag down a mod to move this to a forum where it’ll get proper notice for the topic.

Meanwhile, it sounds like normal teenaged sexuality, and a good time to make sure she’s got correct knowledge about sex and birth control and STDs and is encouraged to protect herself.

5

Moved to MPSIMS.

6

You’re worried that she’s talking about jerking it to some dude who lives somewhere far away? Got some bad news for you about the internet…

7

Oops. Simulmove. I moved it to IMHO.

ETA: Also edited thread title.

8

bolding mine - this is significant

Also: what, exactly, is it you want to accomplish when you say “how to approach this” to us? Do you want their relationship to end? (Not under your control, sorry to say.) Do you want her to not masturbate? (See above.) Do you want her to not be Googling these topics? (Somewhat under your control.)

Taking away all her communication will most likely backfire on you.

9

It’s normal and healthy activity for a 14 year old. Don’t sweat the small stuff (and this is small stuff).

10

You can’t really set boundaries on what they talk about. Not well, anyway.

It’s better for you to be open with your daughter about what you two talk about.

11

Sex is normal. Give her a condom and tell her not to get pregnant or a disease

12

For my teens, electronic communication rules include “no wedging, no porn, no pictures”.

13

Of course it’s freaky to find out something like that about your daughter. But she sounds perfectly normal. She could have been googling far worse things like “how to get your boyfriend to agree to a gangbang.”

14

Aw, crap, I don’t even know what “wedging” is. I guess I have about six years to figure it out before my kids are teens.

15

I thought of myself as being relatively knowledgeable about internet terminology but what the hell is wedging? Sounds really perverse.

16

I was about to post a variant on this, substituting in “glad I don’t have kids because obviously I’m behind the times” instead.

17

She will certainly be talking to people about masturbation, in real life or online. You can’t stop it, and trying to runs the risk of ruining your relationship with your daughter. Why, exactly, do you think you can or should stop this?

18

Wedging:

1.Fix in position using a wedge

  • the door was wedged open

2.Force into a narrow space

  • I wedged the bags into the back seat

This must be stopped.

19

Teenagers are weird. If you don’t want to see things you will be disturbed by, don’t check her history. I wouldn’t check my kids’ histories unless they gave me a damn good reason to- it really seems like an invasion of privacy if you did it just to be nosy.

20

When you say you have talked to him, do you mean in person and/or over the phone, or do you mean over the internet?