OK so here is the layout: I am soooo relaxed due to the two parties I attended tonight i know for sure i will regred my actions tomorrow. So right now i am in a kind of a “do or die” mood as my hangovers are generally far too severe to even bother trying to cheat them.
So I hereby make a pledge to pay the next years subscription of the doper who guesses the really dumb, self-defeating thing i am about to do now. Hint: The activity I am about to engage in is fully legal and was at one point in time the livelyhood of at least one awesome doper. First one to nail it saves 15 bucks come april (if you joined the second you could like a true zealot obviously) lets see you all work for it 
We need more hints!
Does it involve farm animals or toxic materials? Self-abuse? Nudity? 
I’m gonna go ahead and say masturbation.
Let’s see… dumb… self-defeating…
My guess:
You are about to click the submit button on a post composed while drunk.
shall I send you my contact info now, or wait till you’re feeling better?
In the state i live in anything that is destructive and involves farm animals is taken to court under the ambigoues cruelty to animals statue (we also use it to prevent the koreans here from eating dogs despite it being rather hypocritycal due to us eating cows with no fear of prosecution whatsoever). So you are wrong right now. But since you are the only guy to keep me company on this long, lonely cold night just at the time when no one is back from thanksgiving and you haven’t talked to a real person in close to a week and a real person you actually care about - in even longer - I will let you keep guessing till you stop amusing me. If you don’t get it by the time you start to bore me make way for others (not to be mean but i wanna get my moneys worth here)
Phone sex?
Ok I should really not be posting under the influence, i missed two replies while composing my last post(and it wasnt even that good or funny). The answers are both wrong. The two things mentioned are self defeating and the last one is also annoying and dumb (if overdone naturally) but they are mere collateral damage compared to how vein, stupid and self defeating what i am about to do is. So keep going and make em funny, you’ll get it eventually.
Hint its not a very long hard tricky or all that uncommon of a thing(some ppl may argue with that).
You’re going to drunk dial!
You’re going to shave your pubic hair?
NO! NO! your going to WAX it off!
Oooh, good guess.
Just in case . . . I’m going to guess: You’re going wax your pubic hair.
The OP said someone here used to do it for a living, right? (Which is why I was mostly joking when I said masturbate and drunk dial but I’m still not completely sure on the wording of “was at one point in time the livelyhood of at least one awesome doper.”)
DAMN YOU AND DAMN MY LENGTHY PARENTHETICALS!
Ha! beat ya Cisco!
Playing solitaire till dawn, with a deck of 51?
Selling something at or below the cost you bought it at?
Volunteering for medical research?
Breaking large rocks into smaller, easier to handle rocks?
Bite me, jerkface. I need this more than you, man. I NEED THIS!!!
I’ll take ‘Calling an Ex-Girlfriend’ for $200.
That’s what a “drunk dial” is, except a drunk dial can apply to any gender, and also “crushes”, or as us adults like to call them, “friends”.
I think faldureon passed out or something.
Dance naked on the rooftop slathered in butter and mayonaise, screaming “Stella!” at the top of your lungs while juggling 17 knives and wearing a tinfoil hat on your head while thunder rumbles ominously above?
Or he/she is busy heating up the wax.