Let's hear from the other side: why don't you ask him?YES YES YES YES.
If she is your friend and likes you GREAT! If she is your friend and doesn’t, she’ll get over it. She’ll tell you very nicely that she is not interested in you that way. you will tell her that makes you sad and stuff and then you will both go on being friends. If it makes it awkward after or she is mean to you, she ain’t your friend.
PLUS, always go for it!!
I asked her, anyway, and she politily sp brushed me off. She didn’t want to complicate the friendship, but we all know that she’s just too nice to say an outright no. FYI, her first (and last so far) boyfriend and her are still best friends.
I have, sort of. We have discussed the fact that we both are feeling something more than just wanting to be friends. He wants to think about it for a bit. At least over our Christmas break. I can live with that; I still want to be friends regardless, he’s a real sweetie. And he’s going to keep an eye on my cat while I’m out of town, which is REALLY sweet. (Besides that it saves me a fair amount of money either for hiring a pet sitter or boarding him.) The catch is not appearing pushy.
And I was the one who started the discussion about “us.” So I haven’t been holding back because of being the woman involved. But he’s nervous about it; it’s been a while since either of us was involved with anybody and I think he just wants to be careful. I KNOW he’s interested. I won’t give him forever, but I can wait until January. It’s still frustrating, but survivable.
GO FOR IT
Although i’m not exactly one to give love advice, this much I can say for sure, if you never ask, you will never find out what could have been, and years later, you will hate yourself for it.
I am not saying that you should break up a relationship that she is in now so you can have her, but if you like her that much, it would be a shame not to see if the feeling is mutual. For all you know, she may be thinking the same think to herself. Or she could be too “old fashioned” to ask you out (You know her, not me)
Just my too sense
WHOA! Like, that’s so simple yet so profound! Can I use that?
Tripler
Story of my life. Really. . .
Ways to tell if a girl is interested…
if you touch her hand does she pull away?
if you hug her does she hug you back?
does she call you or do you always call her?
does she like to recieve complements from you?
(if you tell her she looks good today does she look disgusted that a pig like you is looking at her)
Quoting Chris Rock, “Help! I’m trapped in the friend zone”
Asking a girl out should not ruin your friendship, UNLESS you mess it up. If she says, “I like you for a friend” or “you’re like a brother to me” DO NOT continue to push the issue. Move on.
You do not want to be Skippy from Family Ties. In fact, Remember that Mallory(sp) hated Skippy until Skippy got a girlfriend. Do not spend your high school years pineing away for this one girl.
White Rabbit,
Good for you for taking the initiative. Good luck.Get a camera for $8.00 at Longs, ask her to model for you, you’ll have her.
Also, perhaps refering to her as a ‘young woman’ might be better in the future, as:
girl "ger(-e)l\ noun [ME gurle, girle young person of either sex] (14c)
1 a : a female child
b : a young unmarried woman
c : a single or married woman of any age — sometimes taken to be offensive
2 a : sweetheart
b : a female servant or employee — sometimes taken to be offensive
c : daughter
girl•hood -'hud\ noun
©1996 Zane Publishing, Inc. and Merriam-Webster, Incorporated. All rights reserved.
Last time I did that, I indeed had a date with the girl in question, except it was in a courtroom… um…
On MASH Winchester once said “Tis better to have loved and lost than…oh hell give me a drink.”
The only regrets I have my from my high school sentence are things I did not do.
I didn’t ask Cindy out.
I didn’t kill (well the list would be kind of long)
I didn’t realize that if I was Valid Dictoium I could tell them all off at the end.
You have to at least try, for one simple reason. If you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your days wondering what would have happened if… .
Tip: want to improve your chances of a ‘yes’ by 100 percent? Here you go. Don’t make yourself the focus. Pick a something nice to do, and make THAT the focus of the question.
Consider the difference. If you say "Want to go to this thing WITH ME?’ then you could be making it awkward for both of you, as she basically has to accept\reject YOU. If you say, "Look, this thing (whatever) is going on, and myself and some friends are going to go, I think it’s going to be great (because x y z)… I think you’d enjoy it, would you like to come?’. This is less awkward - she is being asked to accept\reject the something nice to do, not YOU as such.
Four possible outcomes:
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Green for go. Well done and good luck.
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Gentle dissuasion. Take it well, smile, and use this time-honoured cool exit line. Say, “Okay, that’s fine. By the way, you didn’t mind me asking you, did you?”. She will definitely say “No” she didn’t mind. To which you reply, “Fine. So I guess you won’t mind NEXT time I ask either”. Then waltz off and do something else. A very gracious exit which is fun, saves face and leaves the door open for another attempt.
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Strong dissuasion, but not unkind. Back off. After a cooling off period, which could be an hour, a day or a week whatever, apologise to her for having mis-read the signals, say that you really value the friendship and promise you won’t cross the line again. Mean it, and keep your word.
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Strong dissuasion, and unkind (ridicule, smart ass comments etc.). Leave poison alone. If that’s how she rejects a perfectly sincere ask out, then you deserve better.
“I think you’d enjoy it, would you like to come?’”
I hope it’s not an orgy you’re inviting her to, ianzin.
Just say ‘what time should I pick you up for dinner tomorrow night? 6 or 6:30pm’