I’ll be 38, I’m in a Registered Nursing program and will grad in December and there’s this 30 year old woman who is in my clinical group who is such a bitch! I’ve tried to be professional, I’ve ignored her and she can’t be cool. The first week of school, almost 2 years ago, she told me ‘people’ were saying I shouldn’t wear my skirts so short. It’s just been downhill from there. We all have to do a group project and I asked her, in front of the rest of the group, when we were doing our thing. She flat ignored me and I asked again and J. said “Hey, she’s talking to YOU”, where she snaps “Next Friday, for God’s sake” and flounces her chubby ass out of the room. I know she’s a single mom. So am I. I know she works and doesn’t have a bf and has gained 20 pounds since last year. Is it my fault she’s a unpleasant,loud-mouthed, chunky-assed, frustrated, trailer-park escapee who is a total pain in my ass as well as a cum sipping gutter-slut?
Sounds like she’s jealous of you. And the chips on her shoulders, I’ll wager, are a mile long.
I know this is the Pit, and it’s good to vent here, but – don’t let her issues upset you. Her life probs aren’t yours.
We all know people like that.
I remember, YEARS ago when I was studying illustration in college, an “older” (30 years old - “old” to me at the time) woman took a dislike to me. I don’t really know what set her off - I never really interacted with her much at first.
But she didn’t like me. My parents were helping pay for college - she made a slam about that, implying that I was a no-talent loser. (What is so rare about a young person having their parents pay for college? 
) She even was disgusted because during a discussion about drug use, I admitted that I’d NEVER used illicit drugs, and never intended to. This was a source of derision for her as well. Very weird.
I think I figured out what her problem was, eventually. In the illustration class, I could draw everything freehand (didn’t need to trace a photograph, didn’t need any kind of help at all) and she couldn’t. I know, that seems weird - you sort of assume that ART STUDENTS can draw, right? But not all do, which isn’t any of my business, I suppose. But I’m not going to take any crap from anyone because I don’t freakin’ trace, that’s bizarre. Anyway, I think it ticked her off that I could draw a portrait of someone freehand and get it to look like them, and she couldn’t do it, even when she TRACED. It just grated on her. I guess she figured I had a lot of nerve being able to do something she couldn’t. (And I didn’t do drugs! The NERVE!)
I’ll bet this woman you are dealing with has simular problems. How dare you wear a short skirt, if she looks crappy in one? How dare you be doing better than her, or at least have a better outlook on life than her? Just a guess - but I think that’s what irks her.
Some people are just bizarre!
It’s been hard to understand this woman. She’s younger, she was better looking 2 years ago and I’ve tried to be friendly, then neutral, now I struggle not to display any hostility, taking the high road. I get good grades, but I study and I do have a talent that just kills her, but I can’t help it. I’ve always been able to read and remember not just the text but WHERE in the book I read it. She made me so mad today that I dread seeing her tomorrow, not knowing if I’ll be able to keep from telling her what a pathetic hag she is for no good reason that anyone can see.
She’s obviously quite jealous. It’s almost as if she’s screaming, “JEALOUS!!!”
How dare you be good at something? How dare you be happy and accomplished?!?
Some people are so self-involved that they really think that everyone else’s accomplishments are a “slam” against them. I have an old friend who does that. She oozes hostility when I do something she can’t do. I’ve had bosses like that, too. (All female.) Is this some chick thing? Not that men are beyond being assholes, but this “catty” shit seems uniquely female. I could be wrong - anyone else have any perspective on this?
There is nothing you can do with this woman. You breathe. You are more accomplished than her in some area. That’s enough to tick her off. Hell, even if there are areas where she excels, she won’t see that and be satisfied, she’s too neurotic and bitter. Don’t even try anymore. Don’t be mean, but don’t bother putting in any effort to be polite. Nothing will help.
I’m off to ‘volunteer’ at a health clinic this morning----our instructor requires this, and that bitch will be there, lying in wait like some loathsome crocodile to snap at me for whatever reason. I know I’m letting her spoil my day even before it’s begun and even before she does anything. Since I can’t adjust her shitty attitude, I’ll try to adjust mine and be happy, if only to spite her.
Rise above the crap this lady’s wading in, just rise above.
Especially if you do it with a smile on your face. Turn every complaint into a compliment.
“You know, people are saying you’re wearing your skirts too short.”
“Why, thank you for telling me. How kind!” (walk off).
The trick is to disassocate your opinion of yourself from her sniping. All she’s puffing is air anyway, and who can be hurt by air?
And pity her; it must be hell to be her.
[sub]Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard this shit all my life. "You can’t let anyone hurt you without your permission. Well, fuck you with a jalapena-flavored pogo stick Ann Landers for your bullshit Pollyanna-in-Dachau advice. When that’s all I heard, year in and year out, well excuse me for thinking eventually that I AM a piece of shit. It took me 25 years to work my way out of it and get to the point where I’m a fuckin’ Teflon Buddha to deflect the shit that nasty turd-eating fruit-troth wipers try to lay on me. Go ahead. Give me your best shot you bastards! You [subsides into a frothing mess] . . . [/sub]
Um, carry on
Pesch,
I just gotta use this as my sig line. Can I please???
Just another “she’s jealous as hell” vote.
I used to be friends with a girl; we’ll call her Green-Eyed Monster (GEM). We were in very similar situations, both single moms (I was divorced, she had never married). I went back to school, while working full-time, worked my ass off to be able to get a better job to support my daughter. I was only getting sporadic child support, but lived at home (rent-free) with my mom. She (Mom) helped me with child care when I had to work on weekends or had a late class, but during the week, my daughter was in day care that I paid for (no assistance-type money at all).
GEM got welfare, food stamps, medical assistance, plus regular child support. She worked minimum-wage jobs occasionally, but would end up getting fired for calling in sick all the time or leaving early, stupid reasons.
GEM was constantly putting me down for things I did like “wasting” my money on school, getting in digs about me living back at home, depending on my “mommy”, shit like that.
I ended up cutting off the friendship. When I got engaged, I heard through friends that she was putting that down, too, by saying I was just marrying the first guy to come along and “support” me. Grrr. Makes me mad even now.
Anyway, Cyn, rise above it. It sounds like you are already doing that. She’s JEALOUS, plain and simple. Kill her with kindness. She’ll hate it.