A Good Lesbian is Hard to Find

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Wellllll,

So this girl comes over last night. I’ve been seeing her fairly casually for a few weeks. Now, I always joke around and say, “I’m a man!” because I act like such a guy. (I’m a lesbian.) My man-streak might be ending because I realized that I can think a girl is sooooo dingy that I don’t even want to play with her boobs.

I am OBSESSED with boobs. And yet I was so turned off by her head that I couldn’t get to her boobs. What’s wrong with me?

Okay, okay, I know nothing is wrong with me. But let’s move on to another issue…why can’t I find a normal woman? Seriously.

My dream woman? Attractive, very femme, intelligent and well educated, funny, classy and stylish and a filthy mind.

What’s most important? Someone I find attractive, nice, kind, funny and intelligent. Her head must be screwed on straight (no pun intended, trust me).

Seriously, for the life of me, I can’t find a single one.

The women I see out are extremely…rough cut looking - sporting their mullets and baggy clothes - many seem to drink a ton and smoke a ton, go to work only to pay for their alcohol and smokes, many sleep with everyone…that just doesn’t do a damn thing for me.

Where can I find a nice girl with a filthy mind?

My straight female friends tell me that it is the same struggle with men.

Okay, I’m done crabbing. Had to get it off my chest (again, no pun intended).

Tibs.

2

Trust me Tiburon, it is the same with men. I’m a gay male, that has the hardest time finding a normal, straight acting gay guy with a filthy mind, but no can do, it appears there aren’t any. Just suck it up (also, no pun intended) and carry on. Either you will find someone that is good enough, or you don’t. Don’t let it obstruct you in having a good life.

3

Tibs, you may not realize it, but we’re bonding right now.

4

I’ve been saying for a long time that I’m looking for a nice, not stoooopid guy that I “click” with who thinks with his dick. I’m 36 years old and should be having sex a lot. I’m not looking for marriage material (though I wouldn’t rule it out completely), I’m looking for “serious fun.” I’ve joined a dating service, I’ve asked friends if they know anyone, I’ve expanded my social circle significantly in the last year, I’m more open to “accidental” meetings (i.e. the bookstore, etc). And yet, NOTHING.

5

Heh. Heya, Porcupine,…lemme know if you switch to women!

Tibs.

6

Tiburon I found it very easy to find an “Attractive, very femme, intelligent and well educated, funny, classy and stylish and a filthy mind” lesbian. There was this REALLY cute one I met just this last weekend. [sub]whisper, whisper, whisper[/sub]. Oh yeah, that was YOU!

And porcupine, if you’re willing to be with a mere babe in the woods (I’m 34) and move to Miami, we could find out who wears out in bed first! (I still recall that sexy “chomp”)

(OK, a LITTLE more seriously) I find the same thing with women. I run across a few now and then who may warrant a second or third date, but haven’t had a good run of it lately around here. Giving it another shot pretty soon. Wish me luck.

7

Hey Tibs, if I went that way, we could have given all the men at Spiffled a sleezy thrill. :smiley:

UncleBill, it’s that “moving to Miami” that’s the problem. I need somebody local to satisfy the “having sex a lot” criteria, dammit. But everyone tells me I should go younger. :wink:

8

If we could just figure out a way to cram UncleBill’s brain and sex drive for women into Porcupine’s body…

And thank you for the compliment - you know I get very uncomfortable and shifty to hear things like that, though, so I’m glad you didn’t say it in front of me or I’d have tried to ignore it while I turned red. :o

Lesbian, oh Lesbian…where for art thou, Lesbian?

Tibs.

9

Hell, if we could just figure out a way to cram ANY part of UncleBill into Porcupine’s body… well, never mind.

And Tiburon, you’re welcome.

10

Hey Tiburon, join the club. I’m a little picky, but don’t consider myself all that hard to please. But once I find out little things like her inability to differentiate “women” from “woman”… how can I tolerate that? I have yet to find a woman who has all the things I’m looking for, and I’m not willing to lower my standards, 'cause I don’t think they’re all that high to begin with!

So good luck in your quest. May it be shorter than mine. :slight_smile:

11

Here was the problem…

When you start dating someone a little dingy…you don’t realize it in the beginning. You think, “Damn! You’re hot!” and then you get a little sumpin sumpin and then you think, “Damn! You’re dumb!” Sheesh, isn’t that horrible? I’ve learned my lesson - no more below par chicks.

sigh

Well, okay - look, if you’ve got some hot, stupid chicks, send them over. I mean, they might be good at the sumpin sumpin.

Oh! Look at that! I’m thinking like a man again! God, it’s good to be back in this skin!

Tibs.

12

Hey! What’s wrong with my brain? I’ve got a mind that’s plenty dirty. Ask anyone! And the sex drive is pretty damn strong to, just pointed in the wrong direction for you to take advantage. :wink:

13

I had originally just had “UncleBill’s brain…” and then I thought I should point out that it was really his interest in women that mattered - but I left the brain part in accidently.

Nothing wrong with your brain, Porcupine!

That did look a little fishy, though, didn’t it? heh. Sorry about that.

Tibs.

14

Well when you find one… lpz… tell me where they exist…

My current interest is a woman i am gonna stick my butt in a chair and wait for… for years if need be…she is that perfect… and she doesnt come here so that wont help me… she doesnt like me to wait… but … its been 5 yrs since my last g/f or any sex…so whats 5 more?
don’t laugh too loud… my computer will tell me.
:slight_smile:

15

You like breats you say?
I refer you to this thread.

16

Tibs, you have, obviously, the same problem we men have: we want the virgin body with the whores mind…or something to that effect. It’s tough finding someone that has everything you want:[ul][li]mind[]body[]sex-drive[sub]large off-shore bank account[/sub][/ul]So you do what the rest of us do, you wait it out or you decide what is really important. You could always switch teams, you know I and, I’m sure, UB, would be first and second in line to service your needs. :p[/li]
'Course, we still need to go cruising next time, with your looks and my charm…uh, my looks and your wit…your good looks, wit and charm and me tagging along, we should do alright.

17

Ooookay, I’ve reached my breaking point - along with some of my friends. We’ve decided to place personals ads (for fun, more or less, and to at least be adventurous).

Bring on the dates!

How scared should I be?

Tibs.

p.s. And thank you, Mr. Thinksnow-Tiburon. I will let you know if I decide to switch teams. Until then, send your strikeouts my way.

18

Will do, Mrs. Tiburon-Thinksnow. Only the highest quality strikeouts for you. Nothing but ample boobage, razor wit and timeless style for you because you know, if they don’t like me, by definition…

19

She gave me the best compliment I’ve ever received.
(I’m a straight guy, BTW)

“Y’know, you’re a really, really, good lookin’ bloke, and that’s coming from a great big old lezzo, so you’d better believe it!”

Hey, I was pretty pleased with that. Now, I’ve just gotta convince the straight part of the female population.

:smiley:

20

Tibs, glad to hear you think the only thing wrong with me is my orientation, not my body or filthy mind. Now, if I could only get(as mentioned earlier) a nice, not stoooopid guy that I “click” with who thinks with his dick and who happens to live somewhere near me to have a similar opinion about my body and filthy mind, I’d be in business. :smiley: