There is not some mystical bar/nightclub/condo complex that caters to hot girls and your bros

So tonight, I’m hanging out on the ferry landing by my apartment and overhear a conversation from some nearby Jersey bros. Best I can figure, the one guy is making a heated argument for finding a place to live in a building that predominantly caters to hot women under 30. Presumably in Manhattan. Possibly Hoboken or Brooklyn.

Now these guys didn’t seem like much to me. They were loud in that typical Jersey Guido way as if they though it was real important everyone heard what they were saying. Two of them were overweight. And they were all dressed identically in dark blue shirts which, at best, meant they just got off working at Best Buy around the same time. At worst, you have three dudes wearing the same schleppy “going out” outfits.

The point being, you are not going to find some exclusive Manhattan apartment building that is fill of “hot chicks”. Any selection mechanism that results in such a building would not allow a bunch of sloppy bros in the door.

Not to mention, these guys are already in Hoboken, NJ. One square mile of post-college gentrification (not to mention Stevens Institute of Tech smack in the middle of it). If you want someplace full of attractive women running up and down the waterfront in their jogging attire, this is pretty much the best you’re gonna do.

This is not the first time I’ve heard men talk of some mystical Shangri La of attractive women.

In my own youth, my friend P from Brooklyn was notorious for coming up with all sorts of stats and figures on what nightclubs were 98% likely to have an ideal 80:20 ratio women to men. I told him such a place was not sustainable. It would last a couple of night until the first guy from Brooklyn discovered it and told all his friends. The next time you go back, it will be 100% dudes.
The moral is, there is not some magical place outside of a college all-women’s dorm or sorority house that caters to nothing but attractive young women. And if such a place existed, they certainly don’t want to open it up to “bros”.

Join a community theatre. Or a ballet class. The women ratio is pretty high there.

Yoga can be a pretty good bet depending on where you are.

Volunteer with Moms at school. We have a coupla single guys working with us at a highschool. They’re both gay, but no matter. They do all the heavy lifting and are fun to have around.

Hula hoop conventions.

I went to one, and out of the 200 attendees 197 were women, plus 2 gay men and one single straight guy (a friend of mine, I didn’t know he was into hula hoop, asked him why he was there, and he pointed out the stats).

There is. It’s called “television”.

I don’t think there’s a place with that ratio, and if there is, it’s probably because the people who go there want it that way.

However, I do wonder if there are times when it’s good to be among the first to discover something before it really catches on in popularity. The first guy to think of the Pet Rock made a million bucks. The first few people he told joined his company and did okay. Everybody after that spent three bucks for a rock.

These guys didn’t seem like the community theatre or ballet type. Which just sort of proves my point.

Lesbian bar?

You are technically correct - which is, of course, the best kind of correct!

You had me at “place to live in Manhattan.” I can only assume that these “Guidos” were in deep cover mode to confuse possible informants, and that when they left the ferry, they ripped off their blue “schmatas” to reveal finely tailored Italian suits and began an erudite discussion about the finer points of Caravaggio’s use of chiaroscuro and the beauty of the Dolomites.

At some point in life, a man has to figure out that the secret to success with women isn’t finding attractive women; it’s making yourself attractive to women.

That’s not really true. Success mostly depends on odds and putting yourself out there.

A friend how as married to a former bargirl, told me about afterhours bars (open until 4am) that catered to bargirls who went there after their bar closed at 2am. Of course they’re “off-duty” so not interested in mingling with guys. :cool:

In Hawaii we have a couple of well known bar districts (Keeamouku St and Kapiolani Blvd) that have sit down restaurants that are open 24/7 or close very early in the morning to cater to the bargirls and patrons.

Edit: The definition of “Hot Girls” may be subject to question once they’re out of the dim lighting of the bars. :stuck_out_tongue:

Marginally related to the topic - it reminds me of when I was in college (having gone back after spending time in the Navy) hearing other students talk about what it would be like in the “real world.” They were so adorable - they had no idea what the real world was, other than the notion that once they had a degree, life would be amazing and all their problems would be behind them.

Ah, delusion…

The secret to success with women is… get a job, don’t be a douche. It’s not that hard. What I have discovered in my 40 years on this planet is that there are surprisingly few men who have a job and aren’t douches. These three gentlemen likely don’t fall into both or either of those categories. An interesting thing about women is that contrary to popular belief, they actually WANT to be in a relationship with someone (who statistically is male.) They also have the same conversations amongst themselves about where to go to find men who have jobs and aren’t douches.

Firstly, one of the problems that these gents has is that they are ‘looking for a hot girl’ and not just one ‘hot girl,’ but a multitude of them. Unless they are medieval sultans which seems unlikely, that firmly places them in two categories: they are both delusional and they are douches. It is an unfortunate place to be and we must mourn for them and pray they see the errors of their douchedom. A far more productive path toward matrimonial bliss (and I use the word matrimonial intentionally because if they are just looking for a good time or even a long-term relationship without commitment, they are either becoming douches again, or treading very close to the line. Remember, don’t be a douche.) is to say “I want to find a nice girl and she has the qualities of kindness, intelligence and a strong moral center. (or substitute your particular qualities here.)” I caution you on making physical attractiveness one of those qualities, because you are looking for someone to spend your life with (remember, you’re not being a douche.) and attractiveness is ephemeral. Look up a picture of Kelly McGillis in 1986 and look at her picture now… I’ll wait. There’s nothing wrong with the way that she looks now-she looks like many older women do, and likely she probably possesses kindness, intelligence and a strong moral center (If indeed she possessed those in her youth.) but if you were with her because of her physical attractiveness, you would be in for a sad future.

Once you as a man who is hopefully gainfully employed and who has put the world of douchedom far behind you have come up with those qualities, then you must think to yourself, “Where exactly would a young lady with intelligence, kindness and a strong moral center find herself?” (Unfortunately, frequently they are home watching Netflix, which as a non-douche you should respect and not attempt to break into their home. I cannot stress this enough.) You must pretend to be a young woman and think to yourself “Where would I be and where would I not mind meeting someone new?” This last bit is particularly important because while a woman who meets your qualities may indeed be found running at their local park at 5am, running up beside her in the dark and saying “hello” makes you a douche-which is what we must do our best to avoid. In my wife’s case (and it is important to note that she is indeed a kind, intelligent woman with a strong moral center.) she would often be found at a local church (strong moral center) near her university campus (intelligent) or volunteering at animal shelters or with the homeless (kindness) You of course have your own set of desires for a spouse, so animal shelters or churches may not be ideal for you (and indeed if you hate either animals or God, may in fact be very poor choices-if you hate animals or God, yet go to animal shelters or churches to meet people, you are once again stepping foot over the douche line. Don’t do that.)

Now that you have gone to a place (we’ll say animal shelter since even if you don’t meet someone, you get to play with puppies and who doesn’t like to play with puppies? A douche, that’s who.) where a woman who may meet your criteria for a future life partner may be, it’s time to really gird up your loins. The first thing you must do is start talking to everyone that is at such a place. Not doing this is a mistake that many men make. You do not find a random ‘hot girl’ and immediately make a beeline for her like a fish to a worm. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, that makes you a douche (don’t do that, of course, just going to a particular place to meet women makes you a little douchy, but do your best to redeem yourself and actually be a good community member) and secondly, how the heck do you know what everyone is like? Maybe the sweet old lady in the corner is a wonderful conversationalist or the pudgy 50-year-old guy is a bit lonely and needs a pick me up. Remember, you are not a douche. People do not exist for your pleasure. You are part of a community. And that might mean that girl in the corner who is your age and who you are immediately attracted to leaves the animal shelter and you never see her again. Oh well, she isn’t your possession because you aren’t a douche and that happens. Maybe though pudgy 50-year-old guy has a niece that might be perfect for you or old lady has a granddaughter that you would like. Or maybe they don’t and that’s OK because you’re not a douche and speaking with people and caring about their lives is what people who aren’t douches do.

Final step, you have spent time talking to people as you clean up dog crap and brush tangled coats. You finally come into contact with a woman who seems your age and has a pleasant laugh and doesn’t look as though she is addicted to heroin or kicks old people down stairs. You must be very careful, because many men at this stage err. They will say, “I am a nice guy and I have a job. You must have sex with me at once.” This is the ‘nice guy’ trap. It is a sad and lonely trap to be in. You see, by nature of the fact that you are saying you are a nice guy and that you intentionally act over the top in ways that you think a nice guy would act–that actually makes you a douche and women who have more powerfully attuned senses than we poor mortal men can smell the douche on them and will be repulsed. You see, a nice guy is not someone who tips his hat and says ‘m’lady.’ That is a pretentious guy which is just another kind of douche though perhaps a better class of douche than our New Jersey friends above. A nice guy is concerned that the dog he is brushing isn’t getting tangles and that the woman that he is talking to is enjoying her day and a nice guy knows that maybe the woman he is talking to just doesn’t like him and that’s OK because a nice guy isn’t a douche and people who aren’t douches recognize that sometimes people just don’t like you in that way and that’s OK because who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who just doesn’t like them in that way? What’s nice though is that she does like dogs and may be a nice person who just doesn’t like you, but who likes to hang out with you. Or maybe she doesn’t even like to hang out with you because you haven’t bathed enough or she likes to keep her real life and her animal shelter life separate or any of a billion reasons and that’s OK, because that’s how life goes sometimes and at least you made friends with the old lady you talked to earlier. It doesn’t matter, because maybe you made a friend today or maybe you met your soulmate or maybe you met someone who will introduce you to your soulmate and at least you got to play with puppies, and that’s a pretty good day.

So, in conclusion, if you are desirous of finding a wonderful person with whom you can spend your golden years… get a job and don’t be a douche and I’m a firm believer that sooner or later you’ll find that person who is kind, intelligent and has a good moral center and who gives you butterflies in your stomach when she walks in the room. Good luck and don’t be a douche.

The tough black mineral that won’t cop out when there’s heat all about?"

IOW, engage in stereotypically feminine hobbies. Not something a lot of dudebros are excited by.

My advice is actually not to engage in stereotypically feminine hobbies just to find someone. My advice is to engage in hobbies that you enjoy, but be willing to try stereotypically feminine hobbies because you might enjoy them. For instance, many would say that ballet and musicals are stereotypically feminine, but I enjoy them. Ironically, my wife doesn’t, except Sondheim, she enjoys Sondheim, so we get to go to him together. I rarely go to the ballet anymore because she just doesn’t care for dance and that’s OK, but that’s why you shouldn’t fake your hobbies.

If you’re going to a ballet class to meet women, you will meet women interested in ballet and if they are interested in you, it probably has something to do with the fact that you are interested in ballet. This puts you in a bind if you are going to end up in a relationship with one of these women- you can either admit that you were using ballet to meet women which may turn out OK for you, but if she was interested in you because of your interest, it could turn out very, very poorly or you can fake interest in ballet for the rest of your life which is tedious at best.

A better idea is to simply not be pigeon-holed into liking any hobby because of its associations with one gender or the other. I enjoy woodworking, fishing, hiking, sports, cooking, ballet and fine arts. I discovered my like for these things by trying them and finding out I enjoyed them. You should simply try out your ballet class for a month and see if you like it and if anyone asks say, “I am trying out this ballet class for a month to see if I like it.” Because if you meet someone there, dishonesty is a sucky foundation upon which to build a relationship.

Not buying it.

Not to say you don’t need a job and a decent personality, but you also have to do two other things:

  1. Go places where women are.
  2. Go places where women are.

Oh, and a third thing:

  1. Be at least moderately attractive, depending on where you are and your audience. This usually means not being really fat.