Tell me about it…
Alice - Your story could be mine. I dated a guy JUST LIKE THAT for a year. And I was miserable. I finally wised up and ended it, and shortly after that met a guy who made me laugh and made me feel good. We’ve been together four years now, married for nearly two. Still laughing, still feeling good.
I’m almost certain that if I hadn’t had that horrible relationship, I wouldn’t have appreciated the most excellent one I’ve got now. And believe me my friends were happy too because I was such a miserable cow over the course of that year. It was obvious to everyone but me.
Be glad you’re clear of him; life’s too short to spend it with somebody like that.
Sorry to hear things didn’t work out. It’s amazing how good people can be at hiding their true selves in the early “yay!” infatuation stages of relationships, isn’t it? It’s definitely a good thing that you were strong enough to know not to move in with this bozo or it would have probably dragged out the bitter end much longer.
Nothing new to add except (((Alice))) and I’m hoping that you have something nice to snack on while you’re getting through this. (Whenever I was sad I would snack on cheese spread on crackers and Coco Puffs. If food isn’t your thing, then something else that makes you feel better that isn’t self-destructive.)
I have to know …
…at the same time? [/ot]
No, I mean I really have to know …
…at the same time? [/ot]
Depends on how bad I felt at the time 
Nah, the cheese and crackers would be my dinner, and the cereal would be my dessert. I’m just a party animal, aren’t I?
That was my experience after finally giving up on dead-end guy after three years, too. I cringe a little when I think of how many times I called my friend and my sister and talked endlessly about how badly that guy was treating me (not abuse, just neglect).
I can understand Otto’s confusion here; it wasn’t very long ago he was Mr. Right, and she wanted to be with him all the time. I can also understand Alice just waking up one day and saying, “That’s it. I thought we had a chance, but we don’t, and it’s over.” When I left an abusive relationship way back when, it was just like flipping a switch. One minute I was putting up with his crap, and the next I was getting my purse and walking out the door (I left supper on the stove, even - turned it off, mind you, but just walked out in the middle of cooking it).
{{{{{Alice The Goon}}}}}
Thanks, Anne. And Penchan, I did make creme brulee today. Not only is it creamy and comforting, it’s fun to wield that little blowtorch.
Nice attitude. Women are fruit to be plucked by men with the nerve to fight for them. :rolleyes: That encourages passivity in women and aggression in men. Miss that guilded cage much?
No wonder I hate women.
What you should do next time is get one of those person-shaped cookie cutters. Then make person-shaped piles of sugar and torch the hell out of them. Not only can you imagine your ex as each of those piles as you burn them, they make excellent toppings for any dessert!
I used to date a very similar guy. Men who smell good can be dangerous! He smelled like tortilla chips (which I thought was fantasitc) but was a big loser who said he thought having sex that often was going to paralyze him or something. Life is better without him but I keep hoping to find someone else who smells like that.
Yeah, it was glurgey enough even without that paragraph, which stinks like a month-old kipper. There’ll always be an appreciative audience for any line that seeks to persuade women that they’re too good for the men that don’t want them. :rolleyes:
I don’t say that I’m all that, but I don’t dislike what I am enough to think that I’d need the shit stomped out of me to get me to conform to some woman’s whim of the moment - especially when we’re agreed that it would be wholly unacceptable turned around the other way.
Which ain’t to detract from the OP’s woes, which look genuine and well justified to me. As the others are saying, it sounds like you’re well rid of him, and better luck next time.
Alice , I’m glad that you figured it out as quickly as you did. I wish I had with one relationship. Not abuse, but neglect. I chalk it up as a Learning Experience.
Yeah, it’s disappointing. But the fact that you were able to realize that he was a jerk speaks well of you.
And as a fellow mid-thirties single person, I commiserate. I have had an extremely frustrating time in the dating pool since my last relationship ended. But better to be alone than to wish you were.
At any rate, good luck. Good men (and women) are hard to find, but worth it.
Nothing new to add from over here either, I’m just glad you managed to work out that it’s not the right relationship for you before it got too serious.
All of us? About 50% of the adult population? Just because there are some simplistic, and somewhat misguided ideas about gender roles out there?
You haven’t even met most of us, but you hate us all anyway?
Now, do you really hate all women, or do you just hate women with a superior attitude who look down on men and play all kinds of games in relationships? I can assure you from the fact of my existence that there are women in the world who don’t do any of those things.
Same here. You clearly need to hold out for a very special partner.
Oooh, I know exactly what you mean: 2 years ago I dated a guy (also for 3-4 months) who was awesome except for the co-dependent relationship he had with his ex. That one thing was the only thing wrong with him/us, but I knew that long-term I could never tolerate suffering because of his lack of a spine. I held back emotionally during the entire relationship because of it, though I was still pretty sad when we finally broke up. Heart stuff can be so annoyingly complicated and illogical!