:eek:
:eek: :eek:
although actually, I’m not all that surprised. Kinda sudden though.
Haze, be careful of what you wish for!!
This made me 
I truly wish you well and I think you’ve made an excellent decision not to make one for awhile.
{{{Haze}}}
Up much too early on a Saturday morning. TVMan is finished with my tv so we’re travelling to Akron to put it back together later this morning.
Wow … just wow. More hugs for you, Haze; praying that what is right for you will come about.
Up and caffeinating (yeah, it’s early!)–headed out shortly. Hopefully will have a report about the new used book store later today.
Another long day at work.
Wow Haze that was a lot to digest on just one cup o’ caffiene! Seriously though, I know you’ll make the smart decision. Heck, being apart for a few months just might be the thing. Whatever you decide, you got a lot of friends here to back you up.
I wonder if MOOOOOOM has made it through the first round of 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall yet. It amuses me to imagine her ridin’ down I95 singin’ that at the top of her voice.
Ok, off in search of more caffiene and some food cause tummy is rumbly. Also gotta get the <snerk> butts <snerk> on the smoker.
Later Y’all!
Wow. Yeah, give it a lot of thought and some space. Cripes.
Dammit, the transit system went on strike last night. That’ll screw everything all to hell here this weekend.
Nat keeps tring to play with the keyboard. A definite future Doper.
Ok… So who’s going to buy me some new clothes???
I’m dying here. And I’m a total sucker for eyelet.
Anyone? Anyone? 
CutiePie you should get the second one in red. The red is f-aaaaaa-bu-lous!
Hee! I just got off the phone with a friend, who, will be in attendance tomorrow. He asked me what I was up to. I said, “smokin’ some butt”. He said that I was either smokin’ some meat outside or I had just told him some waaaaaaaay TMI. Smartass. I like that in a person though.
I have also vacummed and swept the back porch and wiped down the tables and chairs. WHEW! It’s humid out! I’s a kinda sweaty bear right now. Mayhaps I should mosey on to the shower.
I liked the purple, but I’m old-school so I still remember a babe named purplekid_something. I’m also single & straight… so I have no clue about suggesting clothing.
Well, except less is more!
I demand “slept on it” thoughts from dearest Hank. (Am I the only one who remembers that one? Yah, I’m old-school.)
Crappety crap. Transit strike.
This will make my life very difficult this weekend… How am I supposed to get across town to visit my coz and her baby? Not to mention how in the hell am I supposed to manage to get my butt to work and back tomorrow? AARGH. I guess some people feel they’re too good for a 3% guaranteed raise, and an average salary of nearly $40/hr.
I’m a raging leftie, but I draw the line at supporting fat cat unions that outlived their usefulness 50 years ago.
Tee hee. swampy said butt. Tee hee hee.
OK, time to get started on my tax refund.
I don’t know what “standing if” means, but I meant “standing in.” whatever.
Wow and whoa. But nice, you know? Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s a huge compliment to you and speaks well of him. I’m starting to warm up to the [del]cheating bastard[/del] guy.
I have a few concerns and since I’m a bossy middle aged mother, I’ll share my bounty with you:
-
What about Victorian Heroine? Yeah, she’s chump change–but there is no way he’s scot-free of that relationship that quickly. Where is he living? (I thought with VH).
-
Do his friends know about this?
-
What about his parents? Not to be an ass, but they may not be thrilled with a Korean daughter in law. We’ve heard your parent’s concerns, but do you even know if his have any concerns? (me, I don’t get the “concerns” but I do see that combining 2 very different cultures or religions, say, can make for difficulties. But since you are more American than most of us, that’s not an issue. Can he be Korean enough for you, though? I’m phrasing this really badly and it sounds all prejudiced, but that’s not what I meant. I just mean that there may be some rocks before there’s smooth sailing --if you get in the boat at all–and those rocks aren’t just several thousand miles away. Please don’t hate me for saying this).
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Wouldn’t this look really suspicious to INS or whatever it’s called today? Hmmm…Nice Korean girl must go back; visa expires in 2 months; but wait! There’s more! she’s married now to American boy! (hell, I’d be raising an eyebrow or two).
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Not that this should be number 5, but I’m eating breakfast while I am mulling this over. What about YOU? You need to do some serious thinking. You need to have him do so serious thinking here. I may be on the expressway to divorce, but I take marriage very seriously–as I’m sure you do, too. These are not vows taken lightly or vows to be messed with once the deed is done, IMO. I mean, take Korea and visas and PhDs out of the picture. Take great (forbidden, which adds to the spice) sex out of the picture–concentrate; work with me here! Do you even want to be married right now? If so, do you want to married to him? If not–I hope you do your PhD in Chicago after your year in Korea, so I can meet you again.
And that’s enough from me. I don’t think I’ve said anything that hasn’t crossed your mind. I don’t expect you to hash this out in MMP for heaven’s sake. Your teaching is for all intents and purposes done, so take time to think. (and if I may add one more thing: tell him you need time alone, like at least a weekend, to think. While you’re in that time, consider: do you miss him? What do you like best about him? What do you like least? Consider all his quirks and personality defects, as well as his strengths.)
You know we love you and want what is best for you–but that is defined by you and you alone. You have some time here.
In other news, it got cold here again–just in time for an outdoor soccer game. :rolleyes: I am going to go freeze my ass off while watching #2 son run around a bit. Then it’s off to MIL for [del]birthday from hell[/del] her birthday lunch.
Busy. Just caught up.
Wasn’t going to post today, but just need to say one thing. No questions, no remarks, no advice… just:
{{{{Haze}}}}
purplkid_caterer and, I agree! 
Thanks everyone, for the unconditional sympathy and hugs. 
Your support, as always, helps me get through the chaotic mess that is my life.
He’s crashing at a friend’s place, but technically they’re still living together until they can figure out what they want to do about the lease. It doesn’t run out until the end of August.
Just our closest friends for now. I think he’s trying to decide if he should tell Victorian Heroine the entire truth. On the one hand, telling her about the past year seems unnecessarily cruel; on the other, if we DO end up doing this insane thing, she’ll hear about it eventually, and she deserves to hear it from him.
Heh. No, I get what you’re saying. I think the biggest problem his parents will have is with the abruptness of it all - I mean, he was dating this girl for years, and then out of the blue he says he’s going to marry some girl they’ve never heard of. From what I can tell they won’t mind me not being white - he’s never brought it up, anyway, and I’ve brought up my parents’ concerns on these issues multiple times.
Heh. Well, I’d be going back to Korea for the time being anyway. And my situation is such that I don’t really NEED a marriage to come back to the US. I could get a student visa, if I waited long enough. Marriage just makes things much easier. Plus, from what I can gather, if you actually have a relationship with each other you don’t have that much to worry about (in terms of being accused of fraud) - I hear they ask questions that are perfectly answerable as long as you actually know each other well.
Well, that is a good question. And I don’t think either of us wants to take this lightly (although I almost wish he’d suggested we just go to a Justice of the Peace and have a few close friends as witnesses and just get it over with). It’s just really confusing right now, I guess. Both of us have similar ideas about marriage - we want to get married eventually and even have kids, but neither of us necessarily want to do either right away. It’s kind of this Catch-22 for me - I don’t want us to get married solely for the sake of my visa, but I do want to be together, and a visa makes it so much easier. I told That Guy that I feel really bad that we have to go to such extreme measures simply to have a relationship, but he said that a) no use regretting the inevitable, and b) if we want to be together, we might as well be together.
On the bright side, you guys get to enjoy all this lovely drama by proxy.
I do want to be careful about this. Despite my immoral and debauched ways I do have a lot of respect for the institution of marriage, and if I go through with this I don’t want it to be something I’m going to regret sooner rather than later.
Ah well. rigs, you’re right. Regardless of what happens, it’s nice to know he really does care.
Anyway, that’s enough of me hogging the attention of the MMP. I’ll keep you guys updated if anything exciting happens.
:: stumbles off to get coffee ::
Morning, all.
{{Haze}} I think you’re being totally sensible about the whole thing, going back to Korea for a few months before deciding anything. Rebound relationships – and this is one for him, in a sense – have their own problems; throw in mixing cultures, dealing with INS, etc., and things get even crazier.
I do have one concrete suggestion, however: Do check with INS (or whatever they’re called these days) about the whole thing if you do decide at some point you want to go ahead with it. Because you’ll have a whole new set of bureaucracy to deal with when marriage enters the picture. Especially if you’re not currently in the country at the time; then you’re dealing with all kinds of extra obstacles, like quotas.
But I think Minister’s Lad is giving good advice. And I’m glad you’re going to take more than a few deep breaths before plunging into anything. Not that it doesn’t sound wonderful and romantic and all that, and heaven knows I’m a sucker for a good romance. But you’re a terrific young woman, and I know that whatever you decide will be the best for everybody. [/end of non-advice advice]
I should probably shut up and get back to work. A whole new batch arrived this morning – a client I always enjoy, but sheesh, I said I’d do one day of this two-day meeting and the disorganized idiots at the office decided I should get both. So I may not be around much this week.
{{Mumpers}}
((((Haze))))) - there’s already been plenty of good advice on here, but just remember the old adage of marrying in haste and repenting at leisure!
I’ve just had a thoroughly frustrating experience that I’d like to share with you because I know you’re all gripped by the minutiae of my life. In the UK, we have to pay vehicle excise duty to the government - the tax disc on the car runs out at the end of this month so today we decided to go and re-tax the car at the post office whilst running other errands in town. To do that, I had to take the renewal notice, my insurance certificate and the MoT certificate (confirms a vehicle’s roadworthiness) and a means of paying the £120 due.
So we turn up at the post office and present the documents. The counter-lady looks at them (you can see her lips move as she reads the details to herself) then she goes away and fetches another person to help her understand them. Then they tell us that they can’t issue a tax disc because the car’s registered owner is 'im indoors, and the insured driver is me. So we patiently explain to them that the tax disc relates to the car, not to the driver or the owner so as long as all the documents have the same vehicle registration number on them, it doesn’t matter who owns or drives it.
They’re not buying that one. You know why? Because they have a “helpline” that’s told them the driver and owner names must be the same and they’d only tax the car if I added 'im indoors to my insurance. Really? And who’s going to pay the £100+ fee to do that? He doesn’t have a licence to drive because he’s not passed a driving test so it would be hugely expensive to add him. I was biting my tongue here, I can tell you.
We decided it wasn’t worth trying to talk sense to these people, so when I got back home, I went to the vehicle tax website and used their online service to re-tax the car. Of course, it will take up to five days for the new disc to arrive and by that time my car won’t be legal to remain on the road.
How frustrating is that? Oh, sorry, did I wake you?
I knew I could count on rigs to express most coherently my thoughts about this issue Haze. I’m also glad you’re not just jumping into it.
It is a lot to absorb, and whatever you decide, you know we’ll back you up because we love you and care for you.
The sun is threatening to come out here. We’re supposed to go work out, but Mr. Taters also wants to go out on the boat. The last time we tried to work out and then go boating, we ended up not going boating.
Frankly, seeing as how today is the opening day of lowland lake trout season, I’m not sure that going today would be such a hot idea. It’s bound to be awfully crowded.
We had a nice time last night at dinner. Mr. Taters set up our friend with a gal that he works with. They seemed to hit it off. We left them after we ate and came home to uh…appreciate each other.
Well, I should get ready to face my day.
ETA: Wow, BooFae, that is frustrating. Maybe the post will surprise you and you’ll get your tax disc early.
Haze, my feminine instincts are saying RUN NOW AND DON’T LOOK BACK. That Guy just set off my creep meter. You listen to rigs, she speaks Wisdom. Failing that, I can whip up a board-mit-nail and ship it up to you quick-like. I’m planning on visiting Illi-nwah this summer to see a friend in Peoria so I can sneak it up to you.
By the way, I’m planning on visiting Illi-nwah this summer. Hopefully gas prices won’t explode until I get train tickets. I really want to see my Shawnee Friend’s farm.
Love the dresses, Pie! I like the halter top first and the sundress second. The third link no worky.
swampy, this picture from Engrish.com made me think of you. 
North-By-God Kakalak sent me my tax refund yesterday! For once they beat the feds. Now I can pay my vehicle tax and get Polly the Station Wagon inspected!
disarranges things while Mom’s away
Evenin’ all! Wow - I go off to enjoy my weekend lunch and come back to a spur-of-the-moment marriage proposal and Og knows what else!!!
{{{Haze}}} Go home to Korea, take the time to find out if absence really does make the heart grow fonder, think things over with your head as well as your heart. If, after a few months, he still makes your heart beat faster and your skin tingle, then take a step (just a step!) in the direction of marriage. Marriage is a job of sorts, that you will need to work at, and, no matter how Americanised you are, a cross-cultural marriage takes more work than your regular “plain vanilla” marriage, particularly in the context of your in-laws and the way your extended families will relate to each other. No matter what you decide, we are here for you.
BooFae, it doesn’t seem to matter which country you’re in, getting your car registered or renewed or re-taxed or whatever is always a chore and sometimes downright impossible!!!
Cutie, I like the halterneck dress in violet! Purrrrrty!!!
Well, I finally lost it at MIL this afternoon. I went round to pick HRH up after lunch and she was a bit grumpy because she only slept for about 30 minutes all day. She was wandering round the lounge room, when she tripped and fell, hitting her temple on the edge of the coffee table. The “bounce” caused an inch-long dent in HRH’s head, which quickly became a lump that fortunately subsided after we put some ice on it. But get this - as soon as it happened, HRH started crying and I grabbed her up and was comforting her. MIL is screaming, “give her water, give her water”. HRH didn’t want water, she wanted her binky and lots of cuddles. So then MIL started screaming, “Give her to me! Give her to me!” I turned around and shouted, “SHE’S MY DAUGHTER, DAMMIT!!!” MIL was dumbstruck! Stupid cow! Anyway, all’s well that ends well - HRH is fine and now asleep for the evening.