Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free.”
The second man said, “My son is a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded.”
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, “My son is a stockbroker, and he’s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio.”
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, “We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?”
The fourth man replied, “Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar.”
The other three men grew silent as he continued, “I’m not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.”
Well dang! I just knew that would inspire the comedic dopers to chime in with their own jokes. I am so disappointed! Here I am trollin’ for some new giggles and nuttin’!
Dammit - heard that one before. So here’s another (which I’ve posted here before, too, so stop me if you’ve heard it):
A lady, pregnant with twins, was walking home when accosted by a mugger. Things didn’t go well, the mugger panicked, and shot the woman twice in the stomach. Miraculously, all three survived (well, mom and the kids; the mugger was probably arrested).
Sixteen years later, her daughter runs down the stairs yelling, “Mom! Mom! The weirdest thing happened - I was in the bathroom and I peed a bullet!”
She proceeds to tell her daughter about her mugging, and just then, her son pops in. “Mom, you’ll never believe this,” he begins.
“What? Did you pee a bullet too?” asks his sister.
OK, in retaliation, here’s a cute one my mom told me last night:
The college professor assigns his creative writing class an assignment: Write a short story; the shorter the better. Also, the story has to incorporate three themes: Religion, Sex, and Mystery.
