BTW, I sure miss Monty Python!!!
Steve Wright said:
May I have this as a sig line? Pretty please? 
Now I’ve got “The Little Old Lady from Pasadena” running through my head. Perhaps that should be the theme song of the resistance? Just to remind us of their dastardly ways!
(weeps…my very own grandmother dyed her hair green…oh, the shame!)
My grandmother baked cookies. Lots of 'em.
And she was…CANADIAN. That’s right. A FOREIGN Little Old Lady!
International Conspiracy! I know they have LOLs in England, maybe they’re in other countries too?? We must act now!
People, I have something to announce. Clearly there is some LoL intelligence snooping this board. Because this Saturday, a Little Old Lady stole my lunch.
I absolutely kid you not. Minding my own business in Marks & Spencer food hall, I selected some lovely smoked salmon-wrapped salmon mousse parcels for my midday prandials, and stood with them in line at the checkout. An “adorable” LoL in front of me, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, was loading her stuff into a shopping bag. She had finished loading as I paid for my lunch, then I walked round the checkout to get it - and it was gone! The checkout woman and I searched the checkout and the floor, but to no avail. Then the woman behind me in the line said “look!” and pointed to this so-called LoL running up the escalator. Grrrrr. M&S gave me a new lunch, bless 'em: solidarity against the menace.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
It was foolhardy to go into M & S: surely it is a favourite hangout of these people?
If I avoid M&S, then the Old Ladies Have Won.
jjimm is clearly Bearding Them In Their Lair; we have to salute such bravery.
I mean… have you seen the insides of M&S? The floral print dresses. The comfortable shoes. The sensible undies (one set of Little Old Ladies’ undies uses more fabric than the Parachute Regiment). The hats, dear sweet merciful Lord, the hats…
(Aside to Nenya_Elizabeth: hey, feel free…)
yes - it is brave. Well, you are braver Dopers than I am, Gunga Din.
We shall fight them in the frozen goods area. We shall fight them in the off-license, we will fight with growing strength and confidence in the check out area. We shall never surrender.
Bring the fight to them people. Who’s with me on a raid of a bingo parlour?
I now realize they’ve taken over Broadway. Wednesday matinees have become known as the time of * The Blue-Haired Crowd *.
Jerry Seinfeld must be in on the plot. Remember the episode when he stole the rye bread from the LOL.
Not only is it not all about age, it may not even be about gender. As far as I can see Honor Blackman is not a LOL, but Russell Grant is. How soon will he be advertising Shackleton’s chairs or that bath with the car door?
I think I can handle the Mecca Bingo parlour in my area, but I’m going to need some help for Southend-on-sea, as well as Blackpool, they seem to have quantities of LoL in brigade numbers. A couple of scousers should do the trick!
I shall follow you Mr. Churchill …cough… …cough… Yojimbo to the depths of hell if need be!!
A couple of scousers should do the trick!
<raises hand timidly>
Have you ever noticed that LOL’s are often found raising money for charities with rather vague names? Where does the money really go? Hmmm? Never again will I give to any charity unless it has as a spokesperson a second rate Vegas entertainer…wait…no! Of course! Who’s most popular with LOL’s? Robert Goulet. Damn! They’ve taken Vegas. It’s just a matter of time until Reno falls, and as Reno goes so goes the world.
NEVER!
TO ARMS! TO ARMS! THE LADIES ARE COMING, THE LADIES ARE COMING!
Have you ever noticed that LOL’s are often found raising money for charities with rather vague names? Where does the money really go? Hmmm? Never again will I give to any charity unless it has as a spokesperson a second rate Vegas entertainer…wait…no! Of course! Who’s most popular with LOL’s? Robert Goulet. Damn! They’ve taken Vegas. It’s just a matter of time until Reno falls, and as Reno goes so goes the world.
NEVER!
TO ARMS! TO ARMS! THE LADIES ARE COMING, THE LADIES ARE COMING!
The worst thing about little old ladies is that everyone of them has taken over the body of a young, nubile woman. Its a terrible variation on “Invasion of the Body Snachers” If we can just find a way to defeat these evil invaders we would get our young women back.
The above is completely true, and here’s the really scary thing;
IT HAPPENING IN YOUR OWN FAMILY.
My own dear mother has been taken over by the LOL pod people. A previously young and independent person, she has now moved to the WEST COUNTRY to a BUNGALOW has bought a SMALL DOG, and joined the WI. She was scared of crime. In rural hampshire.
Furthermore she now is interested in those adverts in the back of newspapers for clothes so hideous they have to illustrate them with drawings.
You can spot the diffrence between LOLs and ordinary people by the hours they keep. LOLs get up, voluntarily, at 6am and wait for the supermarket to open.
“and she’s buying a stairlift to heaven”
The breath…The foulest pits of Hell carry a sweeter aroma.
Warning to travelers:
They have absolutely taken over Disneyworld. What brought this on? Those terrifying Rascal Scooters. This year I almost got my legs snapped off at the ankles right by the Indiana Jones Bullwhip and Fedora Extravaganza.
I am not a “gerontophobe”, I’ve worked with little old ladies and I have no ill-will towards their group.
I honestly think that education and integration is the key to getting along here. Live and let live. If someone wants to be a little old lady, then who am I to judge? I just wish I didn’t have to see it.
What they do in the privacy of their own homes is fine with me. If they want to crochet pot holders and those little skirts for the dollies that disguise rolls of toilet paper (you know the ones – Barbie in a hoop skirt that fits over the roll). That’s up to them. But when you see them shuffling around in public, shamlessly showing off their age and wearing those plastic hoods to keep their hair dry – I just don’t think that’s appropriate. Flaunting their wrinkles and that in-your-face approach is too confrontational.
I don’t want my kids indoctrinated into that kind of lifestyle. It’s bad enough that they are exposed to little old ladies in"Cocoon" and “Driving Miss Daisy” (propoganda!) they show those movies on TV on prime time no less, when kids are up and watching TV. And how many people completely overlooked the little old lady in “Fried Green Tomatoes?” (blatant recruitment movie).
TV shows are adding little old ladies characters just to be hip – the kids on Dawson’s Creek hang out with a little old lady! So kids today are growing up thinking that it’s cool.
I still say live and let live, but I’m tired of seeing it everywhere! They can go to their morally questionable bingo halls, their “cruise ship vacations” but in public I really think they should have respect for those of us who don’t accept their geriatric lifestyle.