“Jenkins, you swap with Renfrew. Shields, you swap with Mottl. Fredericks, you swap…”
‘I don’t know what he did, but I stepped on a duck.’
“An Amish drive-by shooting.”
Only one, but it has to *want *to change.
“Yeah! Don’t fuck with Uncle Ted when he’s drunk!”
Regards,
Shodan
“The butterfly doesn’t sing. The mouse is a ventriloquist.”
“Two outta three ain’t bad!”
“Why, that’s Ferrer’s faucet, Major.”
“… And it soon became known as the Nitti gritty dirt band.”
“… And it soon became known as Alexander’s rag time band.”
“Yes, it would’ve been the same year Khalid farted when he bowed to the Sultan.”
“When the Nazis arrived, the audience would yell 'She’s in the fucking attic!’”
“They could never find 11 on the dial.”
“Toss them a basketball.”
“They wanted a coke machine next to The Refrigerator.”
“Len Bias’s nose.”
“They both die two days after they’re picked.”
“Six feet and under.”
“Toast of the Town!”
“Police are looking for a cereal killer.”
“A mime is a terrible thing to waste.”
“Sit down and keep your mouths shut!”
“Rambutt.’”
“Well, how about a little head?”
And my favorite companion to that one:
“What’s time to a pig?”
“I’ve never felt better in me life, boyo!”
… a good goat’ll do that.
I suppose he told you I was speeding too!
“C’est beau? Mon ami, c’est magnifique!”
“Ghosts?!? I thought you said ‘goats’!”
She says, “How often do I have to do that?”
“How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?”
“Perhapth I should rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdle bit”?
They’d put his left leg in and…well, you know the rest. "
“Stand back, girls, I have to gargle!”
“Stay the blazes home” - Stephen McNeil, Premier of Nova Scotia
“That dog always lies!”
“One is white and dangerous for kids to play with. The other is a plastic garbage bag.”
“They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.”
“The Captain’s log.”
He bravely fought off rescuers for three hours.
“My sister has that, and she got **all **them things!”