I remember watching Johnny Carson deliver that punchline! (Unless it’s a manufactured memory.)
Speaking of The Tonight Show:
Moving on to other vintage punchlines:
“Ready when you are, C.B.!”
“And I am the Queen of Roumania.”
“We’re the Phone Company!”
Oops, of course that’s “Marie” not “the Queen”.
Didn’t see a prohibition in the OP on jokes that rhyme, by the way. (But maybe there was such a rule in the first thread on the topic?)
“Two.”
“Obbornockity tunes but once.”
“And young lady, when you arrive at the Pearly Gates, St. Finger is going to shake his peter at you.”
Variations of these have already been said here, but here’s how I heard them:
“Sits up all night, wondering if there is a dog.”
“I need to gargle some of that holy water before she sits in it.”
“Pizzas don’t scream when you put them in the oven.”
“You folks sure treat your hired help real good.”
ETA: “Crunch bird, my ass.”
“Silly Rabbi - kicks are for Trids!”
“B once.”
“Wanna buy some mouthwash? Fifty bucks.”
“And quit show biz?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s never been used. For another, do you realize how many *[…] ** you have to kill to get an ounce of brain?”
*Insert favorite despised group of politicians.
“A shopping cart will, on occasion, show that it has a mind of its own.”
“Sire! You gave me the wrong key!”
“… But Sir Lancelot said nothing.”
“Japanese Karate Bird, balls!”
“Flush the punch bowl.”
“Her legs.”
“Cut the rope.”
“Charged him with battery, and put him in a dry cell.”
“One prick and it’s gone forever.”
“One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit.”
“First, you’re a Russian, then European, then you’re Finnish.”
“Both books were destroyed and one hadn’t been colored in yet.”
“No? Well you’re not going to like Thursdays then.”
“One oda **FRIED ****RICE **fo’ **GLEEK **PLICK!”
“No, I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the TV…”
“Where did you get dem baby-blue eyes?!?”
“You can’t see the cunt in front of you.”
“You can’t see the asshole in front of you.”
“Oh, just you and me.”
“See what I mean? You can’t get much for twenty bucks any more.”
“You know, darling, I think ours is cuter.”
“Would you believe ‘waiting for a train’?”
“Yell ‘BINGO!’”
“Well, that’s not much hand lotion for fifty cents!”
“What part did you get?”
“I have a surprise for you, dear. We’re moving!”
“I just saw my wife on a skateboard!”