“How much is a brazilian?”
“I didn’t say she was going crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy.”
“To wipe the Klingons off Uranus.”
“This time, you hold down the goddamned pigeons while I crap on them!”
“The deaf nun looks up from her knitting and says ‘Father who? Father who?’”
“Kermit the Frog’s finger.”
“Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.”
“‘Frog Sticks Log in Hog.’”
“Yeah, but doesn’t that suit look great?”
“It’s always about the money with you Jews, isn’t it?”
“No, you need extra large. Otherwise one ball will sit on top of the other and you’ll get one hell of a headache right between your eyes!”
“Well, I’m not sure. But it sounded like ‘Pincus phuctus.’”
“Eh, my wife is from Minsk!”
“That’s true, Moishe. But think of the job security!”
“Eh, I just like reading about how rich and powerful we are.”
“I… love a parade.”
I think the punch line to 1 is “The Genie was hard of hearing.”
“When dago flat, dago ‘wop-wop-wop!’”
He burned his lips trying to blow up a bus.
“I was told to blow up as many cunts as I can.”
“Watson, you fool! Someone’s stolen our tent!”
Descartes says, “I think not,” and disappeared.
>smack< “Yeah, we get 'em all the time in this old bar.”
“It’s okay. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack!”
“Some people can tell a joke, and some can’t.”
“What you told me is perfectly true yet absolutely worthless.”
“Who said he *wants *to get married?”
I’m totally broke.
“Five. One for advancing, four for retreating.”
“To see the *old *Italian navy.”
“A twelve-year-old who can outrun her brothers.”
“They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
A West Virginia unemployment line.