“Reservations.”
“She can’t stand to see someone else having a good time.”
“Forget the lightbulb, I’ll just lie here all alone in the dark.”
“A Rottweiler eventually lets go of you.”
“Debbie Does Dishes.”
“They can’t figure out who Sochal Distan Singh is.”
“I bet him two million dollars that I could get the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank to expose himself to me in his office today.”
“The nonstop beeping and flashing light were making her dizzy and nauseated.”
“How do you give shoulders?”
“Nothing at all.”
“They wanted to kill us, we won. Let’s eat!”
No, no! It’s “Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Hope you have a wonderful time!” 
“We use it as a fan.”
“She drops her nail file.”
“MAIDS.”
“Under the vacuum cleaner.”
“Is anything alright?”
On her way to get it she tripped over a cow.
“No, I’m an ex-Tractor fan.”
“She’s also got worms, and I LOOOOve fishing!”
“Nope, but it’s twitchin’ a mite.”
“No, but I am breathing heavily.”
“A set of jumper cables at a/an […]* wedding.”
*Insert favorite impoverished minority group.
“What’s all this ‘beep beep’ shit?”
“Go get your mother”
“Well, can you stick it back in the mud?”
“Touch? Yes. Suck? No. I used to be six feet tall”
“I have? Well, what do I owe you, then?”
“They squint every time they go ‘Suck what?’”
Trump stared at her and said, “Well, what’s in it for me?”
The Brothers Johnson.
“She knows she’s given her last blowjob.”
“I’m [fill in the name of a hated politician]. Now get off my damned throne.”
“Oh, when I die. I thought you were gettin’ a load up now.”