“It just goes to show, you don’t fuck with the Lone Ranger.”
“Kemo sabe, tribe say you wear that mask 'cause you ashamed of our relationship!”
“Oh, not much. Sit around … watch porn flicks … eat Cheetos …”
“Grape.”
“Just give it a wash. Those are tobacco stains.”
“I don’t know what you’re praying for – I’m saying grace!”
“Ooooh, wot’s this 'ere?”
"Fuck off, you red-nosed cunt!"
“What’s the sound you get when your sheep explodes?”
Carnak, so reversed.
And she told him “You can if you want to… it’s your cow.”
And my husband said, “Fuck him. Give him a dollar.”
I was tickled that I knew that one.
Wrecked 'im? Damn near killed 'im.
I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell.
What, were you expecting feathers?
“It’s an ambush! There are two of them!”
“YOU’RE Thor? I’m so thor I can hardly pith!”
God willing, that’s blood.
And then the pig got up and walked away.
I don;t know where you’ve been, but I see you won first prize!
And in honor of Jim Peebles,
Loose lips zinc sheeps.
“Congratulations: You have just been screwed by Granny!”
“Now, then: Who’s on first?”
“No, I want to be Frank!”
“That bastard! All these years, he’s been telling me it’s Gabriel’s Trumpet…”
“You don’t have heartburn, lady. Your tit’s in the ashtray.”
“You can tell them if you want. I ain’t swimming out there!”
“Sure I can. But if I know you, you’ll switch it off as soon as I get up there!”
“I was down in some guy’s basement, and boy! Does he have a set of electric trains!”
“Keep the tip!”
“Oy, the same thing happened to me! I sent my son to study in Israel and he came back a Christian!”
“License and registration.”
“That’s all right. This is an imaginary mongoose.”
“No, I’m German. And how did you know my name was Walter?”
“No, just visiting.”