“A pair of shopping bags.”
“The guy with the dog says ‘Get in line!’”
The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go.
“There’s an oil slick in the bathtub.”
“Lucky I didn’t tell them about the dirty knife.”
“Just one, but it’s worth a credit at Iowa State.”
“I built it so that it could be the synagogue I never go into.”
“To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.”
“The food is terrible, and the servings are too small.”
“You’d raise the IQ of both states.”
This is the piece of cod which surpasseth all understanding.
“‘Attention, K-Mart shoppers!’”
“‘Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!’”
“Big nose! Big nose!”
The way I heard it, the guy said “Well, fuck you, cunt-face!”
“Yell ‘IMMIGRATION!!!’”
“Doesn’t matter. The winner was some Japanese horse named ‘Yarmulke.’”
“The two guys holding down ol’ Joe. He don’t go for that shit either”.
“You screwed a stork, Pop?”
“Because the road crossed the chicken. Paybacks are a bitch!”
“Actually I’m happy to see you AND I have a banana in my pocket”.
Not bad for a priest with a small parish and no car
“Chug buttermilk until you puke.”
“Say, that shapeless black dress certainly doth become thee.”
“Doest thou come to these barn-raisings often?”