“Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”
“Scrambled.”
He’s clutching that lamp post and hasn’t coughed once!
“Would you like fries with that, sir?”
“And that’s not a Porsche, by the way. It’s a BMW.”
“What?!? And let the chickens out?!?”
“Hold my beer.”
“Aw, hell. You just peed in the refrigerator again.”
“Ya’ll watch this.”
“Once upon a time, there were four bears…”
“what’s eating you?”
“The Texan just smiled and stoked the campfire with his dick.”
“I can’t fix that with duct tape.”
“That’s where you come in.”
Six years old, and smuggled in from Russia.
“He got his face slapped.”
“Sure, I get slapped a lot. But I get laid a lot, too.”
“He left no tern unstoned.”
If you take just one, he’ll drink all your beer.
“Well hung.”