“It’s OK. The one I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
“Have a Nagila?”
“Those who understand math, and those who don’t.”
The Soviet ambassador came in second; the British ambassador came in next to last.
“We used to live there until your mother ate us out of house and home.”
“He hired a white guy to sit in the back.”
Because one will drink all your beer.
“The koala tea of Mercy is not strained.”
Those who understand math, and those who don’t.
“He stuck out like a sore thumb.”
“Well, first of all, it’s a hardware store…”
‘No, I don’t wanna screw for my hinge, but I’ll blow you for the toaster in the corner.’
“Doc, she’s choking!”
“I see. And how long have you been having these Disney spells?”
“The Aristocrats!”
“Not everyone has had chicken pox.”
“It’s not a Porch, it’s a Jaguar.”
“Now you hold the pitchfork and make me take a drink!”
Two different jokes:
“I’m sorry, sir. I hope we didn’t spoil your weekend.”
and
“I just wanted to thank you for the best weekend of my life!”
Ben Dover and Phil McKracken.
and
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.