“I never dreamed I’d be playing in a cathedral.”
“No, I’ve been known to move around a bit.”
“A ‘slut’ is a woman who will have sex with anyone … except you.”
“I don’t know, you silly boy. I’ve never kippled.”
“I’d rather see her box.”
“I’m over here, Dad.”
An appreciation of a dead tongue.
One from the '90s:
“The music is better in a porn flick.”
Toys for Twats.
“The Earth didn’t move, but I think my bowels did.”
New Jersey got first pick.
“I don’t care what it costs, but could you make me one just like it?”
The top rung has STOP printed on it.
“Half the time, there’s no shit. In the other half, there are no shovels.”
“Who drives you to the beach?”
Irene.
And Jesus said [in a warning voice], “Mom…”
“Pull the pin and throw it back.”
“If I’d married him, he’d be President.”
“Tewwible!”