A new Punch Line thread

[Shouted] “Sir, good trade, sir!”

“At fifty bucks a shot, I’m not surprised.”

“Not so fast there, Jenkins.”

‘Read the card! Read the card!’

“Lisbions.”

‘Oh. It’s a shame about Beirut.’

Oh no! You don’t understand, that Green asphalt, he’s a cycle path!

(originally told as green tarmac, in the UK)

“If I die, I want those to be my last words.”

“No, man. I got a booger on my finger and I can’t get it off!”

“Elementary, my dear [last name].”

“Every player was a tight end.”

There was a bunch of them!

One’s a huge Nazi gasbag and the other’s a blimp,

[GERMAN ACCENT]: A zeppelin iss not a blimp!

“Alimentary, my dear [last name].”

“I don’t care what anybody says, I’m thirsty!”

Because of all the deductions.

“I spent the whole night walking the ceiling.”

The goldfish mucks around a fountain.

“I hope it doesn’t rain. I hate it when the children have to play inside.”