“Tell me, what did the chicken do?”
“What’s the catch?”
Sorry if I missed these upthread…
No, they’re out in the truck honking the horn.
There’s a bounty on me head!
RRRAWWRRRRR!
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Somehow I ended up right back in Kenny Rogers’s beard.
Just one, but the lightbulb has to really WANT to change.
I get to be the one who posts it-
“Rectum, hell. Damn near killed him.”
“One of them is a bunch of cunning runts.”
That’s not funny!
“Twenty seven!!! Twenty seven!!!”
“Nahhh, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. She’s dead.”
Jokes I’m going to hell for:
“I wanted to but I couldn’t find her head.”
“There’s twenty of them, what’s not to like?”
“As soon as your mother goes out.”
“Stay the blazes home” - Stephen McNeil, Premier of Nova Scotia
From the absolutely most horrible joke I have ever heard:
Her son’s dick tastes different.
“Now,” Rollins said, unzipping his pants, “while the body’s still warm.”
Then the waitress said, “plus a constant.”
No, I’m a frayed knot.
Yes, I knew Pancho Villa, we had lunch together!”.
“Meh,” he said. “But you’ll never guess who I had lunch with!”
“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too.”
“You know the seed you planted in Mommy? Well, the mailman came by and ate it today.”
“Ach, just come as y’are. There’s just goin’ to be you and me.”
Because gorillas have big fingers.
Paint his toenails red and put him in a strawberry patch.
Bonds mature.
“CHANGE?!”
It was stapled to the chicken.
“What did you bring pavement for?”
“Now I know why you named it Microsoft.”
“If he wasn’t a good person, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
“Hey, nice belt.”
Rats. I realize that most of these come from Garrison Keillor. I’m sure there are more sources of jokes in the world.
“Well, some folks can tell 'em, and some folks can’t.”
“You ARE on the other side, silly!”
“No, no, Nurse Smith, I told you to prick his boil!”
“Are you going to just sit there talking, or are you gonna fish?”
Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up.
Regards,
Shodan
“The punch lines are too long.”
“With a Dustbuster.”
“HOLY SMOKE!”
“Sure, I’ll come to dinner. But I have to ax my wife first.”
“‘The Toast of the Town.’”
“They’ve got big noses.”
“Air is free…”