‘Nice tits. Where do you want the blinds?’
“A month’s vacation and three good leads.”
“I’ve never gone to bed with a gravitationally-challenged woman, but I’ve woken up next to some!”
New Jersey got first pick.
“Put him in a room with two shovels and tell him to take his pick.”
“It was only twenty bucks last time!”
What mo fo tell you dat mishegas?
“Oh. Do you have an eraser?”
The Air Force got first pick.
“Who drives you down to the beach?”
“Pity Margaret wasn’t here. We could have saved the Bentley.”
Two Wongs don’t make a Wright.
Do you have golf clubs in there too?
He who has a Tate’s is lost.
He wanted to make America grate again.
“… but two Wrights made an airplane!”
“A hundred men without Cox.”
“Let’s see how well you play that accordion first, honey.”
“Sam and Janet Evening…”*
*In honor of the late Mitzi Gaynor.
“Then we’ll call it Chauncey DePew.”