This conversation happened at the dinner table last night:
Dad: How can you be for gay marriage? Doesn’t the Bible say that homosexuality is an abomination?
Brother: We live in an Obama-nation, might as well have gay marriage.
Thought you might appreciate it.
Know what else the bible says is an abomination? Shellfish. Link.
Mentioning that to a Jewish audience won’t score you any rhetoric points, though.
That’s not what I was going for. I don’t really know anything about Judaism.
I will pray for your dad.
I will pray for your shellfish.
I will pray for shellfish. Mmm, scallops.
If they come as a rain of shellfish, I hope they’re out of the shells, because otherwise they will hurt, should they land on your head.
It is selfish to pray for shellfish,
Your own shellfish at least.
Be less selfish and pray for MY shellfish,
And you shall be at peace!
Quick! Look behind you!
Why did the oyster refuse to give up its pearl?
It was shellfish.
So, she sells sea shells by the sea shore, but if she’s an observant Jew she sells them without eating the contents?
It’s Jewish Prescience – we predicted Red Tide ***millennia ***before it was recognized as a problem by all the Backwards Gentiles! 
(Oh, and I love your brother’s quote, OP! Although, I’m a sucker for any and all bad puns, so I’m not really sure whether you should consider this a Good Thing :o)
Deuteronomy says that if your kid is a jerk you get to take outside of town and kill him:
21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Presumably this will be made illegal in Obama-nation as well.