[Slight tangent]
I ran into an old friend and reminded him that, over a decade ago, he’d had a great line:
Him: Heard any good audiobooks?
Me: Actually, right now, I’m halfway through The Theory of Everything by Stephen Hawking.
Him: Read by the author?
He will have faked his death; the flaming blob of fat at the scene was actually Bill Barr. He’s still president and will reappear in two weeks with Vice President, Mr. Pillow.
[I’m going to add a plane to my collection of voodoo dolls] [And buy more needles, great needles, only the best]
Suffocation from auto erotic asphyxiation, while a prostitute is urinating on him.
The Colorado Republican Party actually has standards. I’d call it a minor miracle if I believed in that sort of thing.
“The Colorado Republican Party’s statewide officers on Wednesday called on Mesa County Clerk Tina Peters to suspend her campaign for secretary of state while under indictment on multiple felony charges related to allegations the Grand Junction Republican tampered with voting equipment.”
I’m picturing something like Captain Pike’s chair in “The Menagerie”, except that instead of a blinking light it has a neon sign reading “THE ELECTION WAS STOLEN”. Since he has no other message, that would be sufficient.
I said this before, when Trump was in the hospital for Covid, but it remains true: can you imagine how horrible it would be to be the doctor in charge of Trump’s care when he dies? No matter how it happens, whether by accident, something like a stroke or a heart attack, or just “old age,” you as the doctor who treated him are suddenly going to be at the center of world attention, and it will not be pleasant attention.
Everybody in the world will suddenly know your name. Fox News, OANN, and Newsmax will be going over your history with a fine tooth comb. Everything you’ve ever done, every tiny mistake you’ve ever made, every political opinion you’ve ever expressed, will all be examined and re-examined by everyone from Tucker Carlson to Ted Cruz to some crazy dude with a white supremacist YouTube channel, just looking for even the slightest bit of “evidence” that you killed Trump, either deliberately or through negligence. Your home address will certainly be published somewhere, and you and your family will get legitimate death threats. It would be a nightmare.
This is why you should get a total scumbag to do it. Then their life will be under the spotlight as well! Win-win. I’d have suggested Epstein if he hadn’t been removed.
I’m envisioning a scenario where Trump sued the airplane maintenance people when they tried to bill him for services rendered, and the next thing you know… engine failure!
I hope it’s Ronny Jackson! Please! Please! Please!
That would be an overflowing mug of delicious schandenfreude!
Seconded.
Dr. Oz would be a good schandenfreudeific choice as well, especially if Trump buys the farm while Oz is giving him a big old green tea and curcumin weight loss enema.
And watch Trump deflate like a balloon. Maybe even fly around the room.
Florida’s Ladipo would be a good choice, too!
Giving Trump an enema would be like hitting him with a Tissue Compression Eliminator.
I can’t help but remember one of the videos that Vicente Fox made after Trump got elected. “Donald, I notice you drink a lot of Diet Coke…which, by the way, is not working.”
Sure, if it were someone who had been in league with Trump the whole time, that’s one thing.
I’m imagining some poor doctor who just happens to be on duty in the ER when Trump is brought in.
An episode of the show House covered a similar situation.
A somewhat unknown, but well-deserving, candidate would be Roger Marshall, MD, junior senator from Kansas.
If the CFSG dies or is totally incapacitated (by a stroke for example) his chances of election improve in 2024.
I’m now imagining him as a sort of evil stupid Stephen Hawking. Or an even worse Dalek.