Whenever I see someone blatantly brown-nosing for money or advancement or whatever, I nearly get physically ill. I have never resorted to this act, although I’ve had plenty of opportunities. I have yet to need ANYTHING so badly that I would have to stoop that low.
So I ask you this: Have you done it? If so, why? What do you think of others who do it? How about people who do it and end up being promoted over you just because they smooched executive ass? (This hasn’t happened to me, BTW)
All modesty aside, I am so honest that it never occurs to me to act in any way except forthright. I don’t even recognize when other people are behaving this way - in my world, everyone says what they mean and means what they say. I have learned to suspect people on occasion, but it never comes naturally to me. If I were to discover that someone I know is acting dishonestly by brown-nosing, it would shock me and cause me to consider them a person of no integrity. I have virtually no defenses against dishonesty, so I don’t have anything to do with dishonest people if I can help it. If I found out that someone benefited from their dishonesty instead of me with my honesty, it would bug me, but I would not want to get anything at the expense of my integrity.
Mr. Blue Sky,
I have to say, that was, without a doubt, the single best post I have ever been privilged to see. I’m overwhelmed with emotion by your verbal eloquence. I bask in your shadow. Bask!
If I were able to write 1/1000th as well as you do, I’d be far more famous than Shakespear. I am honored that you are on the board and <sniffle> humbled to be in the presence of greatness…
Please don’t let this note influence you in your pick for “favorite poster”. I’m only writing this to you because it’s the truth.
Fenris
Beat it Fenris. I was just on my way back from the cleaners with Mr. Sky’s freshly starched shirts and I see you bowing before The Great One. Mr. Sky is already very aware of his superior writing skills. Oh, and Mr. Sky, I’ve asked the seamstress to let out the cuffs a little on account of your broad, masculine shoulders. We can’t have those shirts fitting too snugly now can we? Here’s the morning paper. Would you like me to read it to you while I massage your feet the way I did yesterday?
Anything else you need, just be sure & let me know, sir. You still have my home phone number don’t you?
Maybe I have done it…unconcsiously, since I do not remember it. For people who do it, I do not like their brown nosing, specially when they are trying to smooch MY ass. For people who I see promoted because they were brown nosing, well, I know who they are and how they got it, so I am not proud of their achievements(obtained by brown nosing). I hate brown nosing…
PD. And my writing skills are bad.
See, this is what I’m talking about. It never even occurred to me to post anything but the straight truth about honesty. I guess I’m better than you guys 
EXCELLENT topic, maybe because it’s uncomfortable and made me think…
Never brown-nosed consciously but lately there’ve been too many times when I’ve wondered about self-editing. There has to be a line between tact and implicit lying and lately I’m agonizing when exactly where they blur. I’ve never deliberately created a false front to make points but maybe stifling uncomfortable truths equals the same thing. Surely there’s a (maybe wavering) line among forcibly speaking my mind, prudence, common courtesy and flat-out misleading.
Sorry, may be grossly derailing the topic by taking it into gray, murky areas. But does brown-nosing include NOT taking issue with viewpoints you hate? I usually try–or maybe just rationalize–to go for consensus, even if it means letting blatant idiocies pass. I try to tell myself that when people stop even talking there’s no hope for agreement.
But maybe NOT standing ground equates brown-nosing.
Hmmmmm.
Off on a tangent again,
Veb
I haven’t brownnosed, but I seem to be inherently incapable of it. I have no talent for extemporaneous acting.
I wonder whether those we view as brownnosers regard themselves that way, or do they just think they are “nice?” Are brownnosers all hypocrites, or are some people with the talent to take a lot of guff from a superior just modest and humble?
TVeblen - I don’t think that I would categorize one who prudently navigates a discussion in the manner you indicated as a brownnoser, unless the only people he defers to are his superiors, and then the motive seems relevant. You indicate that you go for consensus, which is a constructive attribute; but a person who acts for the purpose of ingratiating himself has a dusky proboscis.
I have never brown-nosed. It is against my priciples.
[sub]And may be why I’m stuck at low rung on the corporate ladder while incompetent pukes rise by leaps and bounds[/sub]
I’ve always wondered what the targets of brown nosers are thinking when the brown nosing occurs. My guess is that they are thinking one of the following:
Any thoughts?
I can’t fib and keep a straight face - same goes for brown nosing. I shared a cubicle with a guy who was a brown-nosed liar, and I watched him get promoted over me. Then he quit. In the grand scheme of things, what he did had little impact on my life.
I have learned, however, that one needs to blow one’s own horn on occasion. Despite having been taught that one doesn’t brag, in the workplace, if you don’t let your bosses know what you’ve been up to and what successes you’ve had, they won’t necessarily know. But I don’t consider that brown nosing - just self-preservation.
And I like to think I’m pretty good a seeing thru those who would try to smooch up to me. I think my sincere-o-meter is fairly well-calibrated. Not that this happens very often - more likely than not, the other guy is trying to show me how wrong/uninformed/stupid I am. Like I care…
I can’t stand people who brown nose. I work with one guy who is so blatantly phony it’s disgusting. If anyone in management suddenly stopped short, all you’d see would be this guy’s legs sticking out of someone’s ass. Fortunately, our managers see right through this, and will promote based on merit.
To me, this is no different than phony comments made by so-called “friends” who’ll compliment you on something, but you know they’re just saying it without any meaning, or they’re afraid to tell you the truth.