I agree. I’d be more likely to consider her GF material if we had sex on the 2nd date because we both thought it felt right than if we hadn’t had sex by the 10th date because she was following some arbitrary rule or playing some power game.
I’ve had long term relationships with women where our first date never got any farther than the bedroom.
Hey hold on there buddy! I’m not pushy about it! 
The sooner they sleep with me the better for the most part. Its not like you went home with them after meeting at the bar or anything, you are actually going out on dates so the interest is already more than sex.
I figured it had already happened. 
Go with your instincts, but if you want to explore his take on medieval Japanese armor/nutella/superiority of cats to dogs etc, and he only wants to come over and fuck*… I’d say you have problems. But it’s early days yet, so best of luck to you both!
PS-sounds to me like he is considerate and well mannered. Such things are not to be taken for granted in a man. I only bring up the Daniel Cleaver** specter because it’s a possibility…
*or vice versa.
** see first Bridget Jones film for details.
I found this both post both disturbing (because of the assumption that there is nothing lacking on HIS end), and amusing (given his moniker):
I agree with several posters’ comments: it’s about chemistry, not scheduling. When you find someone that strikes a spark with you, burn, baby, burn.
I think all women should have sex with me by the second date; even if I screwed up the first one, or even if it didn’t happen.
Our first date was SO perfect! He took me to the Bon Jovi concert in Central Park and we spent about 4 hours before the show spread out on a blanket just talking and getting to know one another. Some of his friends showed up and hung out with us for a bit and they seemed like cool people. He held me and we slow danced (sort of…neither of us are much in the way of dancers) to Always. He went more than an hour out of his way to take me home and walk me to my door and didn’t push to come inside.
On our second date he was going to cook for me. He had prepared cornish hens, a side of pasta and fried zucchini. We ended up doing all of the cooking in the bedroom so I didn’t get to see his skills in the kitchen, but on my way out I noticed he had the table set for two with candles and everything. I cannot express how much I truly like this guy. He is funny, smart and considerate, not to mention sexy! He makes me really happy.
Sorry to gush…I just can’t help it. 
That’s nice. And I mean that sincerely. <smiles fondly and even somewhat sappily at computer>
Even my bitter, twisted, negative self remembers such times with extreme pleasure*.
Enjoy!
*I’ll go back to my dungeon now.
Where did you create that assumption?
Saving it for the second date, eh?
Yeh, so it’s a cheap laugh so what? It’s my only line!
It just seemed to me that you were judging her a whole lot (this mythical “her”) while not noting that she may not be finding her wildest dreams fulfilled with a gander at your attributes. The scenario could easily be flipped to where it’s you found on the reject pile. IOW, I thought you were being a bit insensitive, although I am with you re the hygiene. That’s all. If you didn’t mean that (and I freely concede you may not have), then I am incorrect in my assumption. Am I? You didn’t say.
Ye gods, man, I’ve been married for 35 years. I don’t even understand the question! Back in '73, we didn’t date, we fucked, and when we fucked somebody who fucked us back, we married 'em! Except for my precious Razorette – she was a virgin until the night we conceived our first son, and don’t you forget it!
Jeez, you kids are over-thinking this stuff waaaaaaay too much!
“Honey, do I take you seriously?”
Anyway, just about all of my relationships have been with women who were generally “know what they want” types. I don’t think there’s been much correlation between when we had sex and how seriously I took them. If anything, it’s been negative correlation.
In 2008, depending on your age, you need to get to the point where you understand if there’s chemistry or there’s not. Playing games is for adolescents. The very best relationships I’ve had are where there was first, second or third date sex where there’s electric chemistry. Regarding women who want to string it out well beyond that either there’s a trust or chemistry issue, and when (or if) it does happen they generally aren’t (relatively speaking compared to other women ) very good in bed, which may relate to their hesitancy.
Past the age of 40 if you’re not feeling the chemistry by the third date (ie where she wants to make love) it’s generally time (IMO) to move on.
Another doper (this one female) chiming in that I jumped my husband on the second date.
That’s why I said that it was an assumption, and a bad one, on your part.
I understand and accept that the situation would be exactly the same from the other side. I would expect nothing less. Any potential partner is judging the other one by whatever standards are important to them. Maybe I wouldn’t measure up, maybe I wouldn’t be as inventive, kinky, staid, whatever as my female partner might desire. Their choice and right to judge just as it is mine.
You’re easy. I like that about you.
Eh, I don’t think you have anything to worry about, pbbth. Besides, a man who doesn’t take you seriously because you had sex with him (or, ya know, because you engage in any *other * exact same behavior as he does) isn’t a man you want to be with anyway. That’s a man with some issues.
I also think it’s a bit of a red herring. IME, guys will have sex with a woman they don’t respect, but they don’t *lose * respect for a woman who sleeps with them. I’m betting that most men who would say that they didn’t take you seriously because you had sex with them actually didn’t take you seriously *before * you had sex with them.
For some reason your screen name stands out when ever I am scanning a thread, so I always end up reading your posts.
Just curious, do you have anything positive to say about men?
1.st, 2.d, 3.d… if there’s mutual interest and chemistry, when the sex happens doesn’t matter. (as long as it happens)
Hell - I’ve been dragged on a 6 month chase once (which ended well, for a while).