The question is meaningless. As I point out to well meaning friends who try to match me up, I only date women that I am having sex with.
However for me, willingness to have sex with me is also a indicator for serious mental defect.
Let’s just say I hope my kids never ask me about mine and Daddy’s first kiss…
“It was kind of sloppy, because it’s hard to put it in at the same time you’re kissing”
We celebrated our first 10 years this spring…
I think that measuring it in hours of face time, not number of dates, is far more useful, at least to me. They say that 4-10 hours of face time is normal, with 7 being the most normal. Thinking back on most of my past relationships, it seems to have been 7 hours almost exactly.
Having said that, I would certainly question the possibility of a relationship with someone who would put out in hour one. It makes me think she’s not very discriminating, and I want someone with standards. I’d still do her, but I’d consider it a one-time thing.
My current GF and I had sex on the first night and I couldn’t be happier with her. She’s an amazing woman who loves making love to me. I feel very lucky.
I slept with irishfella on our first date. We’re still together after 7 years (almost 3 of them marrried). We’re very happy thanks.
If they don’t respect you…sleeping with them won’t change that.
If they respect you before they sleep with you and don’t afterwards (while having still agreed to sleep with you)…well it says more about them than it does you.
If they respect you before and after, they’re a keeper.
That goes for any combination of both genders and any timing of sex in the relationship.
<curious>
What constitutes a ‘serious sexual deformity’?
</curious>
A penis?
Although sex isn’t the only reason I am with a woman, it is one of the reasons. (I have had some female friend with whom I did not have sex)
So sex on a second date would not preclude me from having a third date - sex is part of what I’m looking for with a woman. Sex on a second date would encourage more dates.
My wife and I knew each other in high school, but I was oblivious to any affection that may have been there. About five years later, I saw her in a bar, and ended up going home with her. We decided that didn’t count as a “date” because we hadn’t planned it. We then had a “first date” without sex.
We’ve been married ten years, so I guess sex on the second date is OK, and so is sex on the zeroth date.
I’m an old hippie and I kind of go along with the old “If it feels good, do it” thing. Based on the way you described HIM, I’d say you did exactly the right thing.
Is there anyway you can turn the Friday night stay-over into a weekend thing?
One where she doesn’t rip off the third breast and yell “Just kidding!”?
I have a tangential question: to guys it would matter to (or speak perhaps on behalf of those you know that it would matter to), does matter how long you know said date? You just met at a bar vs. you know some through mutual friends? I can easily see sleeping with someone on even the first date if you’re not strangers when on that date, is all.
Excellent. I agree.
I was about to write “It would matter” without hesitation, when it downed on me that I spent two years with a woman I had randomly met in a bar (*) . So, actually, no, it seems it doesn’t matter as much as I would tend to think.
(*)I ended up in her bed the first night, but she changed her mind because she had recently decided she wouldn’t have sex on a first “date” any more. So, she drove me to my place and we had sex only the following day. :dubious:
What has the first clause of that sentence to do with the second? I might regard a woman as serious-girlfriend material if she slept with me on the first date, or the second, or the third, or much later. I might not so regard her, and still ask her out a second time just in hopes of getting laid. And there’s nothing wrong with either.
Heck, first date wouldn’t rule her out. I don’t take chemistry and mutual attraction for granted. That’s not the end-all/be-all, but it counts for a lot in the long run.
Going off of memory, of course. Living the married life now.
No. Not on the first date. Not in the first hour.
I quoted one answer, then another, then another… then I realized that there were many more beautifully and succinctly expressed posts than I could list…
So I’ll just say this: I am so, so proud of you guys! Every now and again something will occur that really burns in my loyalty to and affection for the SDMB. This is one of those times. Y’all are a broadminded and charming bunch.
pbbth: I posted a very similar question recently.
Well, so you did! I didn’t do a search for this particular question because I figured searching for threads that involve the word sex would be like searching for threads that involve the word religion, which is to say it would be the least helpful search ever.
Doesn’t have a negative impact on my opinion of the woman’s character at all. While I have been on as many as four or five dates over the course of maybe a few weeks before having sex with someone, I’ve most often had relationships where sex happened pretty quickly, like second or third date. Attraction, sex, and deeper feelings are all tied together, in my opinion. If she’s not into me enough to want me pretty much from the beginning, then maybe she’s not into me. Period.
A couple of examples: A woman I slept with a few hours after meeting became a long-term girlfriend. I was with her for almost two years and broke up with her only because of distance after I moved here for what ended up to be a longer stay than I thought.
I met a woman at a friend’s birthday party and talked to her off and on throughout the evening. She came to visit me in the hospital a few days later, after I managed to break both my wrists. A couple of months later, having exchanged a few emails and a phone call or two, I went to see her dance in a Flamenco show, which was our first real date. I spent the night at her place. The original plan was for me to sleep on the couch. That plan was adjusted 
Our two-year wedding anniversary will be in September.
I’ve had the usual mix of short-term and long-term relationships. I’ve very rarely had one night stands. There’s no real correlation between the time it took to head to the bedroom and the time we were together. Like I said, I’ve had a risque Truth or Dare game turn into nasty headboard-slamming-against-the-wall sex later that evening and it turns out to be a great relationship, and I’ve had a women I courted for a while who aren’t really worth the time spent, in our out of bed. In my experience, neither wishful thinking or friendly feelings will turn into strong sexual attraction, but sexual attraction can deepen and become more meaningful.