So last night, Mr Winnie comes into my office and says, “Hey, D’s eighteenth birthday is next month. M asked me if I want to go out for his birthday. What do you think?” (D is his son, M is his ex-wife, A (who has not appeared in the story yet) is his 16-year-old daughter. They live in San Diego.)
“Absolutely. Let’s go.”
So he calls M and says “I talked to Winnowill - we’ll be out for D’s birthday.”
Silence.
Next thing I know, he’s heading outside to continue the conversation where I can’t hear it. This never bodes well. But I continue doing what I’m doing (installing a SCSI card in my computer), waiting to hear the latest in the continuing saga of my stepchildren and the ex-wife.
Welllll, as it turns out, the invitation to come out was extended to Mr Winnie ONLY. I am specifically excluded. A, whom I have not seen in more than a year, does not want me there. No, it is not her birthday. Mr Winnie, happily, has refused to bend to this restriction, saying that it’s both of us, or neither.
Apparently, it is M’s firm belief that children should always come before a marriage. Which is why she is now divorced. And her children, who mostly ignore their father, should come before his wife, with whom he lives. Yep. This is a woman who has made her daughter singularly ill-suited for life in the Real World by consistently sheltering her from the harsher side of reality. Like the fact that most people will not bend over backwards to be nice to her, and that some people will actually go out of their way to be unkind. Like the fact that hiding behind mommy’s skirts won’t make problems go away.
Now, I admit freely that, not being overly fond of children of any age, I am not the best candidate in the world for Stepmother of the Year. I put forth some effort, but, as I’m feeling my way here, I’ve made mistakes. However, my stepdaughter has in no way shown that she has any interest in overlooking them or forgiving them. In fact, showing a remarkable level of selfishness and self-centeredness, she actually remarked to her mother that she was very upset that her father would marry a woman who not only didn’t know how to be a mother, but didn’t know how to be a stepmother, either. Well, she’s been a piss-poor stepdaughter, and an even worse full daughter to her father. She doesn’t care that he’s found someone he’s happy with - her only concern is herself. She’s mad at him because he moved away from San Diego when she was six. She’s mad at him because when he moved back out west he didn’t go there. She’s mad at him because he once called her the day BEFORE her birthday (this was four years ago - she hasn’t gotten over it yet). And, most of all, she’s mad at him for marrying me.
Well, for someone who shows such remarkable self-interest, she’s not being very forward-thinking. Mr Winnie and I are poised to make a bit of money over the next few years. Right now, having just moved into our dream house, we don’t have much for extras or anything. But, right about the time she’ll be wanting a car for college, we will be doing much better.
And, when I buy my Jaguar, I sure hope she’s envious.