A response to Scylla that I can't make in MPSIMS

[Ravenman]

@Scylla

Well…

I acted the same way to my children when they threw tantrums. I ridiculed them and laughed at them theatrically.

I let them know that not only did their tantrum not upset or coerce me, but that I found it humorous, while making it clear that it was never going to get them anything.

Kids are actually pretty sensitive and have an aversion to being made fun of. So, when they acted in ways worthy of ridicule, I laughed at them. They seemed to catch on quick. I vowed a tantrum as an attempt at emotional coercion and I thought it a good thing to make it clear that it would not get them sympathy or positive attention or be a means to their getting their way.

I didn’t believe in spanking, and I never yelled. Yelling was reserved only for actual danger or dangerous behavior.

I don’t think anything in this world is more alarming than the cry of a child in actual distress. I, and I think most adults are programmed to respond to it automatically. I would never ever ridicule a child who I thought was in genuine distress.

It is very easy to distinguish genuine distress from a coercive tantrum. A coercive tantrum demands a strong and disdainful negative response, which is what I gave.

The woman failed to correct her child when he was attempting his tantrum on me.

And this year’s award for mansplaining goes to…

[Scylla]

@Isosleepy

Perhaps. I on the other hand have no issue with your writing style - I rather fondly remember “the horror of blimps” for example. I had trouble with the substance of the particular post. You were judge, jury and executioner of a women and her misbehaving child, knowing exactly nothing about her, her kid, what did or didn’t happen before they came into the store, the home they go back to - any of it. But you decided to make her day a little worse regardless. And you were obviously proud of it.

Thank you. That’s sort of what I felt about the incident and what I was going for when I wrote about it.

[Knowed_Out]

@kayT

Good to know there are still some folks with a sense of humor on the dope.

I just took it as a bit, like a cartoon. I could see in my mind’s eye Scylla’s face in normal mode, then a subroutine loads into his cerebral cortex: Maximum Douchebag Mode. Increase smug factor in grin. Arch eyebrows. Flare nostrils. Dimple cheeks. Scylla looks into brat’s eyes and says “No.” Brat rears back head, opens mouth, unhinges jaw, screams bloody murder, flails arms, pounds fists on floor, kicks feet up and down, store vibrates from sudden increased volume. Glass cracks, crystal figurines shatter, nearby shoppers cover ears and seek shelter.

I was entertained and didn’t think the downfall of civilization was occurring.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@Scylla

Well…

I acted the same way to my children when they threw tantrums. I ridiculed them and laughed at them theatrically.

I let them know that not only did their tantrum not upset or coerce me, but that I found it humorous, while making it clear that it was never going to get them anything.

Kids are actually pretty sensitive and have an aversion to being made fun of. So, when they acted in ways worthy of ridicule, I laughed at them. They seemed to catch on quick. I vowed a tantrum as an attempt at emotional coercion and I thought it a good thing to make it clear that it would not get them sympathy or positive attention or be a means to their getting their way.

I didn’t believe in spanking, and I never yelled. Yelling was reserved only for actual danger or dangerous behavior.

I don’t think anything in this world is more alarming than the cry of a child in actual distress. I, and I think most adults are programmed to respond to it automatically. I would never ever ridicule a child who I thought was in genuine distress.

It is very easy to distinguish genuine distress from a coercive tantrum. A coercive tantrum demands a strong and disdainful negative response, which is what I gave.

The woman failed to correct her child when he was attempting his tantrum on me. As I wrote in the thread she actually moved a little past me and seemed to be pointedly ignoring it.

I thought that was bad parenting, and I think it I’ll-advised that she would put her child in a position where it might get corrected by a total stranger. Irresponsible.

My response to her was too rude and snarky, but she too me by surprise by being polite and soft spoken in her objection. It wasn’t what I was expecting.

I think I left several cues in the story to demonstrate that I did not think myself a hero, and that my behavior was not necessarily admirable or the best possible(the over the top description of my sneer, which I Then characterized as a mask, and the wondered if that was the mask or the real me, my cowardly retreat. Etc.)

I remember those times fondly.

So, you feel misjudged about you as parent by people who only have one snippet of information, and feel they are unfairly interpreting the situation and filtering it through their own judgmental lens.

Huh.

[Chingon]

Ironically, Scylla’s whole story is an exercise in virtue signalling.

[tricoteuse]

@Scylla

As appealing as it is, I doubt that’s the case. I think that the internet has evolved and this board with it. The result being that this board holds an unusual concentration of what I call “Woke Scolds.” These are just shitheads who get their jollies by going around virtue signaling by pointing out perceived flaws in others’ thinking or word choice and presenting those as indicative of deep character flaws. It’s character assassination disguised as social justice. Though I don’t post on twitter there’s an especially lot of it there, as well. I despise them, as they seem to get off on trying to make other people feel bad, and are generally humorless assholes.

So a young man is getting married. He’s a virgin and so he’s worried about being able to perform on his wedding night, so he goes to a sex therapist for some tips (haha). The therapist tells him, tape a nickel to each hip, then sway your hips from side to side while saying nickel-nickel, nickel-nickel.

The young man goes home and does so, and goes back the next week for the second step. The therapist tells him tape a nickel to each hip AND tape a quarter to his ass, then rock his hips, nickel-nickel, then push his ass back while saying quarter. Nickel-nickel-quarter.

Again, the young man practices, then the next week he goes back for the final lesson. The therapist has him tape a silver dollar right above his dick, and says to rock his hips, push his ass back, then thrust while saying dollar. Nickel-nickel-quarter-dollar.

The young man practices nickel-nickel-quarter-dollar all week, because next week is his wedding.

After the ceremony, he and his bride go to their hotel room and get into bed naked. The young man rocks his hips, pulls his ass back, thrusts his cock, all the while thinking to himself nickel-nickel-quarter-dollar. The wife is getting all into it, moaning and writhing and begging for more. The young man goes at it even harder, still thinking NICKEL-NICKEL-QUARTER-DOLLAR!

His wife is right on the edge and starts yelling that she wants it harder. He’s right about to cum so he starts rocking and thrusting for all he’s worth, yelling “BUCK THIRTY-FIVE! BUCK THIRTY-FIVE!!!”

I nearly had my coworkers on the floor with that one.

Sorry, you were saying? Oh, yeah, I’m in awe of how The Amazing Criswell here knows all about me based on one post.

[Scylla]

@tricoteuse

Oh, yeah, I’m in awe of how The Amazing Criswell here knows all about me based on one post.

Nine.

[tricoteuse]

Ten.

[Isosleepy]

@tricoteuse

Ten.

‘Knock knock”
“Who’s there”
“Ten”
“Ten Who?”
“Tenured academics are just about the only ones who derive please, possibly sexual gratification, from nitpicking the fuck out of things. Where do you teach?”

[tricoteuse]

Wassamatta U

[Inner_Stickler]

@EinsteinsHund

Yeah right, I cannot remember a single instance in which I was upset about Miller, but in this thread he’s an ass.

Agreed. From Scylla, it’s par for the course but from Miller, it’s surprising.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@Chingon

Ironically, Scylla’s whole story is an exercise in virtue signalling.

Yup. “All I did was proudly tell a story where I made a toddler cry in order to teach him a lesson and then scolded the mom for being a shitty mom. HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE ME INTERNET”

Good look on you, Scylla.

[Inner_Stickler]

It doesn’t seem to me like he’s upset about being criticized. I think he’s gotten exactly the reaction he wanted.

[tricoteuse]

I agree. He’s just another troll who posted that story to get a rise out of people, or else getting a pit thread wouldn’t make him all happy. But as long as people keep giving him thumbs up and even the moderators are child-hating antiparents, he’ll get away with it forever.

[kayT]

If you can’t tell the difference between story-tellers and trolls perhaps you should try reading more widely.

[Cheesesteak]

@Scylla

My response to her was too rude and snarky, but she too me by surprise by being polite and soft spoken in her objection. It wasn’t what I was expecting.

I think I left several cues in the story to demonstrate that I did not think myself a hero, and that my behavior was not necessarily admirable or the best possible

This didn’t exactly come through in your post.

[kayT]

@Cheesesteak

This didn’t exactly come through in your post.

Maybe it didn’t for some readers; maybe it did for others.

[Scylla]

@Inner_Stickler

It doesn’t seem to me like he’s upset about being criticized. I think he’s gotten exactly the reaction he wanted.

Great literature engenders discussion, and strong opinions.

Apparently not so great literature can also do so😀.

What I am sort of surprised about and a little disappointed with is this:

I tried to put a bit of a duality in there. On the one side of the coin I was justified and justifiable in my actions, and it felt good to have such a satisfying encounter.

On the other side is the recognition that I was being a bit of an asshole and even though I was justified and it felt good, I didn’t have to be that way. I could have handled it differently or been nice, or made it a constructive encounter. Instead, I went for self-satisfaction.

I tried to point this out with the description of my leer as over the top and saying whether it was hard to tell whether the mask of the leer was in fact my ugly real self.

I also tried to convey it in my cowardly escape, and how I am feeling as the situation escalated and gets uncomfortable. The child is following me and I am separating it from it’s mother, my smarminess is now causing general distress and causing the situation to escalate. So what do I do? Do I stand there firmly and take my medicine and wait for the woman to collect her kid and make amends? She is soft spoken, and polite, so I have every indication it would go well if I did. No. I make the kid cry and run away.

So, I was trying to for two things. First, you could see the story for face value: Scylla gives irresponsible parent and bratty child a proper comeuppance. Secondly, Scylla is a cowardly asshole who chose the shitty route and is proud of it, because to do otherwise is to recognize he acted not so great as he thinks he is.
What I wanted was to have both things in the story be true. Because that’s how it felt. I was happy and smiling and felt justified and smug, and I knew that I was a bit of an asshole and cringing inside because of it. Both of these things were true simultaneously.

What disappoints me, and where I think I failed is that All. Every single response sees either one side. Or the other. Both though are true.

It’s interesting. It’s tempting to think that that’s because the readership on this board is used to being polarized and only seeing and arguing one side. Perhaps there is a speck of truth to that. More likely, is that I didn’t simply write it well enough to make it clear that both were true. It’s hard to find the balance between subtlety and explicitness.

Anyway, I was sort of thinking about Gatsby and Lolita which you can’t read at face value. You have to see the flaws in the person doing the narrating and recognize that he presenting you a one-sided picture, albeit with enough info to discern the truth.

I sort of had a simultaneous “good dog/bad dog” Feeling after the event, and I tried to convey that with a subtext.

Duality of man, sort of thing.

Still not sure how much of it is me, and how much of it is woke scolding dingbats.

But it is certainly an awesome reaction. So, I feel really good about that.

So.

It’s almost exactly what I wanted.

[Inner_Stickler]

I simply don’t understand the impetus to be an asshole. We’re all just trying to live in this world, why go out of our way to make it harder for other people? I’m not saying you should have been a doormat or bought the kid the lunchbox. But why even engage if you’re not willing to attempt a positive interaction. The end result was that the kid was upset, the mom was upset and you were at best conflicted. Doesn’t really look like a win for anyone to me.

[you_with_the_face]

@Scylla

What I am sort of surprised about and a little disappointed with is this:

I tried to put a bit of a duality in there. On the one side of the coin I was justified and justifiable in my actions, and it felt good to have such a satisfying encounter.

On the other side is the recognition that I was being a bit of an asshole and even though I was justified and it felt good, I didn’t have to be that way. I could have handled it differently or been nice, or made it a constructive encounter. Instead, I went for self-satisfaction.

Where this fails is that it’s not obvious why “buy me a lunchbox!” from a preschooler should even release strong emotions from an intelligent grown man. It’s so ridiculous to even treat combatively. It’s like getting mad at a little dog yapping at you from behind a chain link fence.